The most perfect thing I have ever read.

Wow. While reading this I couldn't help but think of Dean Koontz's "The Darkest Evening of the Year". In his novel, as well as yours, there was the strong feeling of mystery and insecurity. I didn't entirely know what was going on, but I wouldn't stop reading until I did. I love that in a story and you pulled it off well, great job.


-PFC Suarez

That was impossibly sad. You're an amazing writer with undeniable talent. I'm sitting here, on my lovely squishy bed, so stunned that I can hardly type this review. I don't know how you do it, but you manage to say so much with hardly any words. Wow.

So melancholic. An eating disorder truly is a mistress, and the cruelest one to take.

Your story is so beautiful...and yet so sad. You made the atmosphere melancholic, and the reader (well, me) is able to feel it. That's always great for a story. I have absolutely nothing to complain about, and this is going straight to my favorite stories.
I love your writing style, and the POV. And the name used, Grace, is absolutely fitting for a dancer. The metaphor of "mistress" used for Grace's anorexia was great, it explained how deep he is into it. I'm very, very impressed.

Hmm, to fangirl or not to fangirl?

I'll let you off this once.

Righty; well, obviously it was stunning. The switching between pronouns did make it a little difficult to follow, but that's wholly to be expected.

My favourite line by far was: "The coldness of the window glass became your comfort". A nice contrast and it was effectively used.

The ending paragraphs concerning the description of anorexia nervosa were outstanding but at the same time ratehr nauseating. "fingers in between his ribs"? (paraphrasing I think) That really made me shudder.

I did love how you denoted facts throughout and the narrator had quite an impartial judgement on matters throughout most of it.

I suppose I could do with a final, bitchesque remark, so here goes: it did come across as being only the slightest bit preachy, for example, were you trying to infer an intrinsic link between grace and anorexia nervosa? Perhaps it follows through as an indictment against contemporary celebrity culture and the means through which one must achieve it? A microcosm of a pan (global) society?

I should like to say that I didn't actually find the piece preachy at all, nor could I actually find anything about it that I disliked, I just thought I'd look for potential problems, just to make it seem like I wasn't being overly generous; an effect I've somewhat ruined now.

Anyway, it was brilliant and I enjoyed reading it!

This was beautifully written and kind of spooky :) Si I automatically love it.

-is in awe- gorgeous.

Wow, I thought that this was fantastic.
The way you tackled the subject matter was really wonderful,
interesting the way you looked at the four people in this twisted love affair...
I loved the reference to dancing throughout.

I got a great feel of both Grace and the husband, but I thought the narrator was rather passive, very much a victorian wife sitting at home, seeing much more than her husband would give her credit for- it was sad and terribly infuriating at the same time.

I would have liked to see Grace's anroexia referred to a little more, I probably missed vital clues, but it seemed to come out of nowhere and didn't affect his dancing at all...

great job really!

I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to return your kind review for Bane. I have ran into multiple problems.

Anyway, this was a different piece, I have to say. Somehow I didn't think that Grace would have had a problem with anorexia, and that kind of came as a surprise. I thought that he may have been making his way with the narrator. That would have been a bit twisted, but too expected, I guess.

This was brilliant; simply and utterly.
I loved how it kept you guessing, even though it wasn't very long. I'm pretty sure I read it about six times before I came to the conclusion that I should add it to my favourites, haha.

It was amazing.

Good first line. It's bluntly expressed, but demands enough thought to assure me that it's worth my time to read on.

I like the stilted, almost minimalistic style, and the way it reflects on anorexia - that your prose is stripped-down to the skin and bones of expression (while still remaining vivid), and whether intentional or not, it accentuates the story almost perfectly.

"It was she who dragged him over the stage and filled his dreams." I think your use of 'dragged' here makes it apparent that something is wrong with Grace a little too early, I think. Personally, I'd suggest replacing it, but it's hardly detrimental so I suppose it's ok either way.

"I don’t know which one of you were stolen from me" I think that should be 'was' instead of 'were', but I'm not certain about that. It just sounds wrong to me, as it is.

"in the omitting grandeur of the studio" I'm fairly sure that this makes absolutely no sense. Maybe 'in the grandeur-omitting studio' would be better? Although it still doesn't make much sense, because I don't see why you'd wish to tell us what the studio omits. Unless you meant 'emitting'? But since I don't know what you're trying to say here it's difficult to offer any suggestions.

"I knew you did." Unless she has subsequently changed her opinion it should probably be 'I know you did.'

I love the way you use repetition.

The way you gradually approach the whole subject of anorexia and its personification as the mistress is, ah, sublime, to exaggerate only a little.

There's really not any even remotely substantial criticism that I can make. This is wonderfully written. There is a depth to the characters that you manage to demonstrate in only a few words.

And now I've run out of things to say, so, yes, this is definately going to be favorited.

Wonderful job, you are a beautiful writer

I had to read it twice, to actually understand the full...

I can't even put it into words. Beautiful.
Absolutely stunning. I'm in awe.

Bravo.

Beautiful, and creepy. The way you hint that something was wrong, but don't quite give enough to tell just what until the final line. This is a wonderful use of personification, and it matches perfectly with the dreamy narration.

Livi

(Okay, I am totally procrastinating. The poems aren't that difficult . . . just insipid. Like Spanish Hallmark cards. Ay Dios mio . . . )