as well as poetry- beautiful poetry- this would work as some poetry/prose hybrid, I think, rather well. it's good. it's so good. I want to say something constructive, but I can't, so: you always seem to write the poetry I myself would like to learn how to write. just purely amazing stuff.

I love the simile in the last line... the whole piece is great... I like how they both starts with oh

i totally dig the last line of this, very rushed feel to the whole poem that was kinda cool and fit with the train, fun stuff

This seems to perfectly describe the way I feel sometimes, with a thousand thoughts crashing around inside my brain.
"you with your thing wail of leaving/ of longing-" My favorite line. It's just lovely. :)

very Dickinsonesque with the dashes. I really enjoy 'bursting inside of my head with cauterized limbs' and the flow of this piece. nice job.