HAHA, I'M ONLY ON THE SECOND CHAPTER, BUT I'M ALREADY IN LOVE WITH YOUR TOTALLY HILARIOUS AND INNOVATIVE NAMES! WINALOT AND STABALOT! HAHAHA IT SERIOUSLY HAS ME ROLLING IN PEALS OF LAUGHTER

are they together? Will they get married? have they ever found the damsel's? Couldn't you put a epologue?!?!?! I'm dying to know!

:O He left them!

Right off the bat, I liked that you did not add a 's' at the end of 'toward.' Kudos to you.
In the second paragraph, 'Standing, he threw his blade to the side, taking off his face mask and shaking out his sweat strewn hair,' there seems to be some tense-confusion. You have a lot of progressive tense, and only one past. You should try and break that up into two different sentences. Perhaps, 'Standing, he threw his blade to the side. He took off his face mask and shook out his sweat strewn hair.'
In the forth paragraph, 'Winalot grimaced. Once again, he’d been beaten by a girl. The only girl in the school, in fact. Princess Cassidy,' there are two fragment sentences. Though 'The only girl in the school, in fact,' sounds complete, it is not. It lacks proper structure. You may think about combining all three sentences, such as, 'Winalot grimaced. Once again, he'd been beaten by a girl - the only girl in the school: Princess Cassidy.' That is a bit more complex than the rest of your sentences, but you'll be able to figure something out that matches your own style.
'But most of all, Princess Cassidy was no longer...' Now, we all know not to start out sentences with a conjunction. Sometimes we do anyway, but it is usually not acceptable to start an entirely new paragraph with one. Try excluding the 'but' and just start with, 'Most of all...'
'Thus, all of the boys thought of her as “one of the guys,” and not one of the damsels.' When you use quotation marks that does not denote a quotation, it can become very confusing. If you use double quotation marks, such as ", throughout your story to identify when a character is speaking, you should not use those same for anything else. So in this instance, you should only use single quotation marks: 'one of the guys.' See?
There were a few more grammatical mistakes, but I'm sure you get the gist of it all. This chapter was just as entertaining as the last. I enjoyed the read.

How cute this story is! I've only read the first chapter so far, but it is quite entertaining and a nice breath of fresh air compared to all of the angst and 'vampire loves human' themed stuff that's floating around these days.
However, I must say that your ending paragraph seems a bit off. "“Let’s go, Cassidy,” said the Queen. Shaking his head in dismay, the King led his family out of the room." It seems to me that this should be two different paragraphs since first the Queen speaks, and the second sentence is about the King. Other than that, everything else seemed fine.

This is GREAT! A perfect lighthearted read with the ideal heroine, at least in my dictionary Cassidy's ideal (so far).

The laughs are definitely there! I kept giggling at the names! xD

Ugg.. I am never going to get used to having the review button on the bottom of the chapter haha.

I got a kick out of this story.. I've been on this reading rampage.. and well I haven't bothered to review.. like I usually do. But I just wanted to say that I got a kick out of how you name almost everyone with __alot. It was funny.

I'm probably going back to reading some more.. The next one would be your story sticks and stones :D
~*~Ngoc1231~*~

P.S. Great job on the story ;)

I loved this first chapter. It feels very much like a published story already. The character, Cassidy, is very realistic like and does a good job at adding humor to the story.

So the names are meant to be humorous...? Like Win-alot, stab-alot, and greet-alot? That would make more sense.

Hi! Ima 300th reviewer and proudd ;))
I finished the whole story and think it's absolutely amazing! What made me like it was that it wasn't intense (I'm not in the mood to read that kinda stuff right now,) but it was light-hearted, funny, sort of written in the Ella-Enchanted style, though this one's more... modern. High school-ish. Not that I'm complaining :)

I liked the way you portrayed the idea of Knights in Shining Armour school and Damsels school and the evil villain one! Very original.

I only wish to make a comment on the way you write. As this story is a mix of modern-day society and historical romance (seems like it,) could you possibly be slightly more descriptive? In some areas it was rather vague, such as chapter 3, when Cassidy first met Sar, and she took in his appearance and etc... (Though I'm not very good with description either, rather hypocritical of me.) And there're also a few minor grammar mistakes throghout that were so insignificant I couldn't remember them all :P

But what I really loved was how it all worked out in the end!It was unexpected (how Aiua fell in love with Sar and how Cassidy kindly stepped out) yet it wasn't as twisted as other stories were.

Also, I do suggest you increase the length of your chapters :D All in all, it was a very good read and I hope you continue writing stories like this.

Is it possible for you to review my story "From Clueless Girls to Arrogant **" as well? I think I could use some good advice from you, since I think our writing styles are sort of similar :)

Thanks!
Love, SP.
(whew! Longest review I think I ever posted!)
ps. I found your story nominated on TiRO Awards Site! I'm gonna vote for you! :D

Brilliant and original

I really enjoyed that! Great job!

Lots of fun! Look forward to reading more...

A great story. Nice humor, and I really don't think I can find anything to critique. I really wish I had time to read more...I'll defintely be picking up where I left off tomorrow.

I liked this. Cassidy is a great character and she is both hilarious and empowering at the same time. I was really addicted by it. I love the names that you came up with. Most of the time taken up on my stories are just to come up with names and they're never as good as aome of the names that you came up with!
Good job!! I'm faving this!