Reviews for Princess Charming

Reviews For: Princess Charming - Reviews: Page 1 of 20

BeautyisFleeting 2008-08-07 ch 23,	abuseI liked this. Cassidy is a great character and she is both hilarious and empowering at the same time. I was really addicted by it. I love the names that you came up with. Most of the time taken up on my stories are just to come up with names and they're never as good as aome of the names that you came up with! Good job!! I'm faving this!
A.S Lee 2008-07-23 ch 2,	abuseOkay if its supposed to be humorous, then that okay, but the names Stabalot, and Winalot, aren't very origonal. I am kind of confused about the setting, I get the Damsel and Night thing, that makes me thing mid-evil, but Mid-evil times wouldn't have colored pens & red crayons (chapter one), and water bottles. But now (2008) in the normal world there wouldn't be damsel schools or knights. So obviously thats got me a bit confused. Cassidy really seems like a great character, and it feels like you know where you are going-like you have a plot ready, and just need to right it out-personally I can't wait to figure out the folds of it.
openheadspace 2008-07-19 ch 23,	abuseThroughly enjoyable read. ;) I love the way that you made me switch my opinion on Winalot throughout the story. At first, I didn't like him that much, and I thought he was going to be one of those annoying characters that makes you want to punch him the face all the time. xD And then, as I grew to know him more through his actions, I started to see him as the character I would cheer on. I love it when that happens. Also, not a second before Cassidy rejected Sar's love, did I know who she was going to choose. You did a really good job of making them equally lovable. Lol. I'm glad that Sar had someone by the end, though. It would've been sad if he didn't. Love Cassidy's character, and the way she reacts to the situations at hand--especially love the way that the final fight with the Nox king turned out. I mean about the way that she was the one to force the final plunge. AMAZING! Lol. Oh, and all of their names made me laugh. Lol. So, I'm done my rant now. Great story, and I hope you keep writing with the same amount of entertaining situations! -Openheadspace
Trmpetplaya1 2008-06-18 ch 1,	abuseLOVE the first chapter. Seems like it'll be a good story that doesn't follow convention. Excuse me while I continue to read... ;)
MidnightMoon73 2008-06-11 ch 23,	abuseFirst off, I'm really sorry about the late review. I had only just found this story and I couldn't stop reading! Second, I really liked how you had the Knights and Damsels in seperate schools and only saw one another at the ball. That really added to the difference of Cassidy choosing to be a knight rather than what they would have wanted: a damsel. Third, I just wanted to say that the plot and the way that the characters were was awesome! Completely origional and terrific! Last, why did you have to stop?!?!? This was just so incredibly good! Very well thought out and, well, I can't describe it in words without writing a VERY long review. I just wanted to say that your story was just absolutely brilliant!
snowdance-lyghtning 2008-06-07 ch 1,	abuseREVIEW MARATHON PRIZE REVIEW! Finally, a princess story with a girl who actually has a spine!! Thank you! A monument should be built in your honor. Okay, the story gets off to a good start. I think the scene with Cassidy drawing gets the story going and the reader interested. I didn't find any grammatical or spelling errors, but it woul be helpful if you put one of those line thingies between the story and author's note. Overall, good job!
Mercyette 2008-06-05 ch 4,	abuseHere's your review award oh mighty third place winner of the Review Marathon! I really like the last names you've chosen for the characters in this story. It adds to the humor in it, which I like. I don't really get to read something that'll make me laugh now a days. You do a good job ending your chapters, but I would like to see them a little longer and have a little more discription added. It'll help add the the length and give hte reader a clearer picture as to how the chracters and settings are. Overall, nice job! I'll have to read more chapters in the future.
SecretAgentWoman 2008-05-30 ch 23,	abuseThat was awesome!
Nnaemeka 2008-05-07 ch 2,	abuseI OWE YOU A REVIEW!! (Just so you know). After reading the first two chapters (c'mon, it's all I had time for sadly. T.T), I find this story intriguing. The only problem so far, is where are they (i.e the kingdom/ land of (insert name here)). I know I haven't read on, but just to let you know!! I owed you a review (wait...I wrote that already...) I'm gonna read some of your other stories so... (p.s could you read my story slaves...also review if you can too..)
BlindmansWorkshop 2008-03-23 ch 3,	abuseReview Game! (Reviewed Chapters 1 - 3) A quick note to a previous review: fencing swords do bend. Which is fine, if you're a fencer you may not know that, but "metal simply can't bend"? Bend a paper clip. What's it made from? What's a spring made from? Psht. Anyway. A good read! I like the non-traditional take on it, and whether it's meant to be a direct parody or not, the parodies of traditional fairy tale stereotypes it contains are rather amusing. Your writing style is nice and fluid, and lends itself well to the story you're telling. One thing I did notice is what I felt to be a slightly awkward overuse of the word "said" in Chapter 1, and a few too many "..." moments. Pauses can be described in the narrative, and in my opinion this is the better way to do it 9 times out of 10. Also, as long as you can do it accurately, aside from using words other than said, you don't need to use one at all. Eg: “Right, well,” the King said with a cough. "Thank you... Could have been, in my opinion, "Right, well." The King coughed. "Thank you... It still conveys the same part of the story, doesn't leave you wondering if it was the King who spoke (as it's pretty clear), and I think highlights the awkwardness of his cough (if it was meant to be that way). Finally, whilst I enjoyed your characters and their quirky personalities, the "alot" naming scheme does feel a little forced in places, but who knows, it could work :)
Gypsy Pink 2008-03-18 ch 2,	abuseDo you intend this as a, um, parody or slightly more... realistic? Cause, if it's not parody - though parody is always fun! - then the last time I checked, metal simply can't BEND, unless you're quite strong when you're handling the sword. That was a sort-of-confused-ish sentence but you get what I mean don't you? Of course I'm no fencer and I guess the lighter fencing swords might possibly bend, but the real broadsword-esque, battle-ready ones?
Gypsy Pink 2008-03-18 ch 1,	abuseOh, I like Cassidy - she reminds me of myself when I was 5 or 6! Granted I was more into vicious lions biting off the arms and legs of haloed angels - yeesh, haloed and with harps and wings - but, yeah, she's cool. How old is she? What does the name Cassidy mean? I'm honestly glad you didn't name her Cassandra - so many princesses I read about are named that and it's awful to hear them nicknamed "Cass, Cass, Cass" EVERYWHERE! - Cassidy is much nicer! How old is Cassidy? She sounds so little and cute - albeit with quite alternative drawing tastes.
ecwix 2008-03-18 ch 1,	abuseReview game. :P -"[Her] teacher looked over [her] shoulder and saw the picture." A bit of pronoun confusion here. I can't seem to tell whether the teacher is looking over her own shoulder or Cassidy's. -"Next to it, there was a girl in a pink dress… holding a sword." The ...'s lent a nice pause the first time, but the second time... well, let's just say the effect is diminished. It's really up to you whether you want to change anything or not, though (of course). -"She waited patiently for Cassidy to gather her things and leave the room before crumpling up the offending picture and throwing it away so as not to frighten the other girls." I dunno, but this sentence seems awfully long. Most of it is okay, but when you get to "so as to not frighten the other girls" it just feels 'stretched', especially when compared to the previous sentence. Maybe you should split it up or something. "She didn't want the other girls to be frightened..." I dunno... -"“I’m afraid,” the Head Mistress said quietly as the King and Queen of the Sun Kingdom watched her." The way you have this written makes a reader initially think that the Head Mistress is "afraid" as in "frightened" instead of using it to lead to her next statement. Speaking of the next statement, the fact that you start a whole new sentences adds somewhat of a disruption between your "I'm afraid..." and "that...", which I feel are actually just part of one sentence. -"The King and Queen were on the edge of their seats." -"“Yes? What is it?” the Queen asked worriedly." These two statements just sort of sounded redundant to me. They're both telling the reader basically the same thing, so really, only one is truly necessary. -"The Queen took in a little breath[,] and put her head on her husband’s shoulder." Do you have that comma there to try to get the reader a slight pause in the middle of the sentence as he/she is reading? If not, it probably shouldn't be there grammatically. -"There were only three routes a child could take—Damsel School, The Academy of the Knights in Shining Armor, [or they could turn to the Dark Side and become a villain.]" The last part seems sort of abrupt and does not really fit in with the rest of the list. Damsel School and the Academy are both referencing to "routes". The third item does not do so, making the end of that sentence seem quite out of place. -"Of course, no parent would ever desire the [latter]." I'm not completely sure, but isn't "latter" usually used to reference to the second of 'two' things? -"Cassidy turned to look at her mother[,] and toppled backwards in her chair." Same as with the Queen, but this time, I have more of a feeling that the comma is there for timing purposes. :P -Alright, I must admit, I was caught off guard by your light tone when I first started reading, but I was able to fall in quickly. It's a charming (ahah! use of title!) beginning. Your main character is given a lot of personality even without much description, and I must commend you for that. In addition, you do a good job of conveying the emotions and feelings of your other characters. I especially liked the forced smiles. :P Anyhow, you give the characters airs that defy what I normally would expect of them--like the king, saying words like "Right, well." It's certainly attention-grabbing. For any other story, I would probably point those out as out of place, but for a story with such a light tone, I must admit that they don't feel that awkward at all. Well, you've gotten my attention, although I must admit that I am notoriously bad at following up reviews on multi-chapter stories. I spend so much time on single reviews that... well... yeah... Good start, anyhow. It amuses me. :)
D= 2008-03-16 ch 4, anon.	abuseYou're not too great on last names, or names at all, are you?... Must they all end with "-alot"? Dx
PhoenixTorte 2008-03-10 ch 1,	abuseI like it! It's cute! Now off to read the rest of it!

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