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| stained blue 2008-05-29 ch 1, | abusei like the way you ended it, the last two lines it makes me think of stephen king somehow, & it's beautiful. the way you describe your "charecters" is something most people can't do, mygod. |
| A Minion Named Onion 2008-01-18 ch 1, | abusewhoa..."laughs like Marilyn's hemline" never have i thought of hemlines laughing but now that i've read that i will think of this poem every time i see that picture. it's the only thing her hemline can now do for me, because you have made it so. i'm an eternal fan here. |
| Alicia Marianne 2007-10-15 ch 1, anon. | abuseyour stories are just as amazing as ever. i love what you write, as it is dep and demands alot of thinking to understand. you have managed to become truly accomplished at writing: your words have a thousand meanings, and it is up to the reader to discover what the real one is. thank you for writing. |
| B. M. Reed 2007-10-12 ch 1, | abuseAwesome poem. Your use of punctuation is very interesting and unique. |
| Stella Grimshaw. 2007-10-10 ch 1, | abuseI really liked your setup of the poem, it's much more powerful and impacting, I can't really recommend any changes because honestly I wouldn't change a thing. |
| Hide Your Eyes 2007-10-07 ch 1, | abusehell, even her fingernails are fake, tiny rhinestones winking at her until she nips them off between her teeth. that bit just makes it incredible for me. this is so excellent. |
| cocaine and cherries 2007-10-04 ch 1, | abusei just got a really bad cold chill. i've been thinking like this for days. "God is cruel, baby," and kisses you slow --like decay. --like denial. when she's drunk she Runs her words together. Savior safehere saveher. word games. her games. ha-ha, you lose. (there is no winning, you know?) |
| breakdown in the waiting ro... 2007-09-27 ch 1, | abusei love you. and your words. |
| she smolders 2007-09-24 ch 1, | abuseThe abstract way you form your lines is like music and the comma in the beginning made me feel like a was witnessing this poem-story firsthand. I think it's the second-last verse that will remain the most in my mind though, the way you have with words is just amazing. |
| from beneath the bell jar 2007-09-23 ch 1, | abuseWow amazing. I would love to know what inspired this. The most amazing line was "she laughs like Marilyn's hemline. flirty. soft. manufactured." Very clever. Well crafted - I like the format. Lots of great imagery as well. Great piece. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2007-09-23 ch 1, | abuseWow, this is intoxicating. I love comparing her laugh to Marilyn's hemline - that's so original, it fits the tone of the poem, and the description worked. So fantastic. Keep writing! :) |
| xrho 2007-09-23 ch 1, | abuseWow. Start to finish - just amazing. Kudos. I'm glad you reviewed me. I never would have found this, otherwise. |
| love between the radio stat... 2007-09-22 ch 1, | abusei miss this kind of torn apart beauty like it's oxygen. i AM denial, embodied. that much i know is true, love. |
| fairytale failure 2007-09-22 ch 1, | abuseI love how you started with a comma; it really made this piece feel as if it were a moment of time, a continuation of what came before. You used really good description and similes, especially the part about her laugh. Although I know you were talking about games, the ending (haha, you lose) doesn't really seem to fit to me. |