Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: Number Two
BriBreezy123 2009-05-02 . chapter 1
i read this and it really captures one of those crushes you wish would go away because you know they will end painfully.
i wrote a poem about this once.
but it wasnt nearly as successful (at capturing the essence of the pain you fell during that crush) than you were in this letter.
kudos on another job well done
something i can never have 2007-09-22 . chapter 1
This is a really interesting, moving and insightful piece. I really enjoyed reading it, its a refreshing break from the usual reading that you find on fictionpress. However, I did pick up a few minor errors, mostly spelling mistakes. I hope you don't mind my pointing them out to you.

"They brake* and bleed and never quite heal."
* should be 'break'

"Leaving pinker softer flesh marred by innosence* and naivety."
* should be innocence

"Eventually they will heal with proper care and disapear*. Maybe later to reapear** and destroy you yet again."
*should be disappear
**should be reappear

"Such words do not carry the connotation of what it was* we did."
*should be 'what it was that we did'

"What we did had nothing to do with being closer* or affection**."
*should be close
** should be affectionate

"It was more like volentary* rape."
*should be voluntary

Well done.
Return to Top