FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| cookie 2008-04-04 ch 1, anon. | abuseAmazing. Your description of his almost desperate desire to play the game makes me want to get up and work out or something! You're very in touch with your character's emotions. |
| Laura Patricia 2007-12-13 ch 1,  | abuseOf course he does! This has potential. It's well written and you have some lovely phrases, but I'm not sure that things like "he was just so freaking happy" belong alongside your other, more poetic, prose. There are a few nitpitcky grammar errors as well. However, this is well on its way to being published I think! Well done! |
| fortuneismymuse 2007-09-22 ch 1, | abuseWow, that's good... that's kind of funny- my homecoming game was yesterday. |
| Mr. Shmee 2007-09-22 ch 1, | abuseFive hundred and seventy-six words of perfection. You did say it best. This a brilliant story. [Now if only my school had a shot at winning homecoming it'd be even better.] |