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Reviews For: The Spirits of Manor House

Aquarian Wolf
2007-10-02
ch 2,
abuseHowdy! I just got a fictionpress account for my original stories. (Only have one posted as of yet. :p )
I really like this so far. I'm looking forward to seeing what other kind of ghosts are in the house and the different stories you come up with for each one. Keep up the great work!
SamanthaNicole
2007-09-22
ch 1,
abuseThis is a really interesting beginning. I'm really interested to see where you go with this.

The back-story of Gwen is sad and really draws the reader in. The whole idea of her committing suicide to be with her family is really haunting, and the language you chose to use helped to give the sense of this overwhelming sadness that fills the house. Very well done.

A few things:
"... or the neighbor lady next door..." This is just my personal opinion, but I would take out 'neighbor,' since 'next door' already implies that she *is* a neighbor. It's just a bit redundant.

"...and cured it by joining going to the ones who wouldn’t come to her." Take out either 'joining' or 'going.' You don't need both.

"In fact, you could say that most of are kindly..." There should be an 'us' between 'of' and 'are.'

This was lovely. Please continue.

Cheers,
Sammy
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