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| A Healing Heart 2007-12-19 ch 1, | abuseLike the others, this poem was wonderful. -Blood |
| Charity F 2007-11-10 ch 1, | abuseI couldn't really make any sense of this. Lines such as "broken still is mine" seem really forced and the poem in general didn't really flow. I think you should try a different style or form. Perhaps something more free-flowing and emotive, seeing as your topics display human emotion. Don't be afraid of stanzas, and of varying line lengths. Work with the words, the phrases - not against them. This poem seemed very jolty [not a word, i know =)] like you were trying to convey something but were perhaps choosing the wrong words, or forcing them too much. Just try it and see how it goes. |