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Reviews For: Serenada

Michael Kim
2007-11-21
ch 1,
abuseI don't know if you meant to write "FEEL my hand" in the second last line. I read it first and I was like "ooh ...mistake", 'cause you know.. it does happen sometimes. But then I read it again and again. You already said "feel me" and then said "fill my hand" then I realized that it's so much better to say "fill my hand" than "feel my hand" (though the latter also works). Well, that's just my opinion. lol

Keep at it! :)
Artemis Anderson
2007-11-21
ch 1,
abuseThis one is my fave of yours. I especially love this part:

"but the smell of distant flowers

fading over time

footsteps behind the evergreens

whispers in the night

songs in the forest

but no one came to sight"
Purple Shell
2007-10-02
ch 1,
abuseHm,why do you write about a girl? R u in luv?? hehe,,just kidding!!
Hmm,well, I like the way you write,,it's really sweet and poetic.(Did I spell it right?)
But how come the last part is can I have you but there is no "?" becoz it's supposed to be a question,right??
Btw, who's she??
A human right?
well, that's all I could say about this story
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