Your story is a masterpiece that deserved more attention than it got. I think it is the best one on FP so far. The characterization is excellent, the description is solid and perfectly integrated into the flow of the story.It is as if each character has this loud clear voice and the reader is compelled to keep on listening .You give attention to minute detail and although there was some rambling that is hard to follow at times, I couldn't help but feel,at the end,that if it had been written any differently I wouldn't have appreciated it as much. ok now I'm rambling...
Although I would have liked for it to finish differently,I guess it is selfish of me to want a cliched end.And life is anything but a cliche so I guess I have to recreate my own fantasy ending where Nora and Brian get together :)

Its so funny that Brian is the cook, its funnier that he knows what Carmichael likes with his eggs haha

Drunks are gone, they drove away...i pray that they dont crash... so now i can sleep

your story is too cool for school

Oh dont tell me the gun is the catalyst to a accidental but intentional murder somewhere down the line! What with all the love triangles and pentagons etc

no...

the drunks are still at it, singing again. So i guess im up reading all night

Even tho the characters dont do or say anything much, the char's are well defined. Well, i have some sort of a picture or an idea in my mind anyway. I think the drunky neighbouries are quieting down for the night! Finally...I think, they might just decide to roar it up again..

I wonder what goes on in your mind aye? This story is so diff. Im like sitting here chewing gum and reading, should be asleep cos its nearly 2am but it took me nearly 4 hours lying on my matress trying to sleep yesterday, so im gonna tire myself out reading lol. And the drunk next-doorsies are raving on and on so i wouldnt be able to doze anyway...But i have a ball meeting tomorrow though sigh...cant stay up all night reading this! (i have exams to haha)

How Brian keeps seeing 'spot' and 'Thank you for visiting Slow March' in his head, that's something similar to what i experience sometimes,
Your characters is a weird mix of concoctions in their thoughts, actions, habits, what they say, and werid minds. Its weird but real. And things that authors usually dont mention before, you have, just so that it can be that much more real and detailed.

Alot of the stuff is read-between-the-lines and its awesome, cos i think i understand some of if (well i like to think i do) like the noisy silence stuff and this part

"...not knowing, it was not knowing a lot of things were happening without him and to him and around him. He couldn’t force himself to read into the situations even though they demanded to be read; he felt it a mockery to everything he stood for, something that spoiled his way of seeing, something that might corrupt him and make him dependent on his own paranoia, and even the refusal to do what he ought—to read what he ought—poisoned him, in a way.

It should be obvious, it should be, otherwise, it doesn’t exist.

He wanted to know if it was true, what the true poison was that ..."

I really like the mood of this story, the subtleties and all the feelings instead of actions in it.

Brian reminds me of the same person back home! This goes to show that your characters are pretty realistic. Like, how Carmichael sees the girls at the party, so true. And the drunkeness portrayed in the party is real too, and the scenes sound similar to my experiences.

Brian didnt like Carmichael but they are still hanging out and there isnt excessive hate words thrown at eachother like other silly stories here on FP.

I usually dont read guy narrator stories, but when i do it has to be good and well written. Like this one. And usually I find I can relate to guy narrators, girl narrators are just too prissy or stupid (even though im a girl).

Keep up the good work =)

Carmichael totally reminds me of someone back home! (a crush lmao well not really anymore but i still like/am jealous of his personality (both the guy back home and Carmichael's that is)

Okay i just started to read your story and have a quick question does Nora ever talk? And whats up with her, like is she just the silent type or is there something deeper then whats there or would I have to keep reading to understand... sorry i said a quick question lol

I cannot believe the amount of reviews this story has. This is probably the best story I have read on fictionpress so far. Most of the stuff is very unoriginal and i felt like i would not ever find something different on here, but this story is remarkable. I truly love it. The characters are realistic and i am very impressed with how their thoughts and emotions are conveyed. You are a great writer keep it up!

cwnileufd? cjNSKdf... sdkjfwk iwnefisw viujsndkj djdf duoideh.
that's what i have to say about the ending. actually, nora redeemed herself. she was good. brian was so good. carmichael was a little sad, but good. i'm still thinking on this now, but, the overall consensus is success. in my opinion.

I really enjoyed this, you are such a great writer...the end was adorable, not even bitter sweet- just sweet and that paragraph about the strangers at the end was brilliant- I love the way that the themes in your writing are so clear, it gives the story more depth I think...
Fantastic job, you certainly had me hooked all the way through!

Wow, you are good when it comes to updating, I know I've been struggling personally to find the time as of late...but anyway on with reading.

'though there was at times an unseen pressure. An outside voice, one of protocol, of fate, possibly. But they did not listen to it.' that was a really lovely start, happy but with something ominous lingering :)

The second paragraph seems a bit repetetive, you give us nothing more than what we didn't already learn in 1

You write the interactions in a wonderful way, I'm loving the relationship.

'Once, one of Eileen’s friends visited and went into labor right on her couch' wow that's pretty weird to be happening in your own home. The part with the song made me squee and aww.

Pregnancy...wow, and you're sure this is finishing soon?

Great chapter, great writing...I want to say update soon, but then this will be over :(

"He’d pulled out every single time…?" that was really funny to me, just because i'd thought that everyone must know that that technique is very faulty. apparently not. anyway. i don't know how i feel about this chapter yet.

Short chapter? I liked the length of this actually :)
The first paragraph needs to be split at seven years because you completley change tack...I've started using the 1/2 width now to view things and that paragraph was a little big (though it probably isn't the same on full)

'poetic spirit?' ha! how pretentious, in a weirdly sweet sort of way. Clarissa is odd, close to finishing high school and still excited about crispy squares.

Pretty dialogue heavy this chapter, it flows nicely...and the end was sad- I hate it when people cry, even the fictional ones.

As great as ever (I'm a useless reviewer I know!) :)