Reviews for In a House Full of Strangers

Reviews For: In a House Full of Strangers - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

eurtreve 2008-04-23 ch 33,	abusecwnileufd? cjNSKdf... sdkjfwk iwnefisw viujsndkj djdf duoideh. that's what i have to say about the ending. actually, nora redeemed herself. she was good. brian was so good. carmichael was a little sad, but good. i'm still thinking on this now, but, the overall consensus is success. in my opinion.
KnittingKneedle 2008-04-23 ch 33,	abuseI really enjoyed this, you are such a great writer...the end was adorable, not even bitter sweet- just sweet and that paragraph about the strangers at the end was brilliant- I love the way that the themes in your writing are so clear, it gives the story more depth I think... Fantastic job, you certainly had me hooked all the way through!
KnittingKneedle 2008-04-21 ch 32,	abuseWow, you are good when it comes to updating, I know I've been struggling personally to find the time as of late...but anyway on with reading. 'though there was at times an unseen pressure. An outside voice, one of protocol, of fate, possibly. But they did not listen to it.' that was a really lovely start, happy but with something ominous lingering :) The second paragraph seems a bit repetetive, you give us nothing more than what we didn't already learn in 1 You write the interactions in a wonderful way, I'm loving the relationship. 'Once, one of Eileen’s friends visited and went into labor right on her couch' wow that's pretty weird to be happening in your own home. The part with the song made me squee and aww. Pregnancy...wow, and you're sure this is finishing soon? Great chapter, great writing...I want to say update soon, but then this will be over :(
haley 2008-04-21 ch 32, anon.	abuse"He’d pulled out every single time…?" that was really funny to me, just because i'd thought that everyone must know that that technique is very faulty. apparently not. anyway. i don't know how i feel about this chapter yet.
KnittingKneedle 2008-04-17 ch 31,	abuseShort chapter? I liked the length of this actually :) The first paragraph needs to be split at seven years because you completley change tack...I've started using the 1/2 width now to view things and that paragraph was a little big (though it probably isn't the same on full) 'poetic spirit?' ha! how pretentious, in a weirdly sweet sort of way. Clarissa is odd, close to finishing high school and still excited about crispy squares. Pretty dialogue heavy this chapter, it flows nicely...and the end was sad- I hate it when people cry, even the fictional ones. As great as ever (I'm a useless reviewer I know!) :)
haley 2008-04-16 ch 31, anon.	abuseso, this chapter, i got really, really confused around the phone bit. probably i'm just an idiot, but i was like... what the.. **? it took me about five minutes to go back and figure out where i got screwed up. but after that was clarified, i went on to read, making a conscious effort not to hate nora. i realize that i dislike her because of a selfish preference, and she's a character in a book, and i should be unbiased. but anyway, you mentioned something about pitying the characters, before. jesus christ, i pity them. it's sort of depressing how much i feel bad for them right now, especially nora, believe it or not. i also loved louisa at the end. she still rocks.
KnittingKneedle 2008-04-13 ch 30,	abuseAnd I thought that I had a problem with long chapters, but wow, that scroll bar just keeps getting smaller and smaller...okay I'm going to review as I go along so I can actually be some use to you as opposed to a blathering fangirl :) Okay, I get the feeling that some of this could have been cut down just a little, I think the questioning and classification of the relationship was something that you could just leave up to the reader... wow...pretty awkward exchanges (not a bad thing, I could totally imagine this as a movie) You put an authors note in the middle, big ol' no no right there, you totally took away from me getting into the story- I didn't see any kind of problem with the 'ecentrically pretty girl', perhaps another word for 'trailing' dreadlocks would add to the eccentricity, 'snaking' etc (I'm not great at that sort of thing either- I've totally run out of cool descriptions in my story, which is totally annoying because the lead character is a nature nut, but I digress) 'awkward awe' seemed like a weird way to discribe it...I got the awkward, the awe not so much, I think there might be a better word lurking in the corner of a theasaurus somewhere, though it evades me (note to self:must work on vocab) 'Chris nodded; he and Eileen looked at each other lovingly; Louisa’s shoulders sunk; Brian cleared his throat.' That's very semi-colony isn't it, I'm not grammar nazi, but it kind of looks a bit weird. “I’ll help,” Louisa blurted.'- seems like it's missing an 'out' (god I'm being so nit-picky aren't I?) 'He pursed his lips and smilingly took the box back up the stairs.' Seems like 'and smiling, took the box' would be less awkward. Your dialogue is just great! The way you give characterization through it, wow! 'Even if this was as good as it was going to get, he was going to take it.' Oh Lord, I've been there before In short, (well not actually, this was a beast of a chapter) you write well, you write very well and if this was a book I would totally buy it! Except on Fictionpress you need to watch that a readers attention span doesn't lag.
KnittingKneedle 2008-04-11 ch 29,	abuseWell it took me a while, but I read through to the end...and I have to say, usually when reviewing I go through chapter by chapter and review, but I just got so engrossed in this that I couldn't even think about stepping away from the story. I can really imagine reading this as a novel, as is your style of writing. I found myself really warming to Brian as the chapters progressed, the growth of character from the wrapped up guy in the first chapters and well, I'm seriously impressed about how you managed to sustain such a great story... I cannot believe it's the play already!
haley 2008-04-08 ch 29, anon.	abusethere's always someone's hands down some girl's pants, it seems like. anyway, i really like louisa. i don't know if i've mentioned it before, but it's a different sort of like. okay, rain is awesome, brian is magnificent, and louisa is something different, but equally good.
haley 2008-04-08 ch 28, anon.	abuseokay, the simon-elena conversation in which there was mac and cheese and government conspiracies... hilarious. especially the "talentless sack" bit. "...or distinctly like male **. He didn’t think she had it in her." immediately after reading this, i laughed and said "literally". it was humorous. anyway... again, chris is sweet and i like him and his rainbow-dreads friend.
haley 2008-04-08 ch 27, anon.	abusea couple of typos in this one, but nothing major. chris seemed very endearing to me, for some reason. and god, i hate nora. maybe hate is a word too extreme, but really, i want to spit on her. especially when it came up that she had braids in her hair and wanted to be a fashion designer. it was gross when she talked about the piercings, too. okay, i'll stop here. i need to quit picking at nora, even though i find her repulsive. carmichael, i just feel bad for him, really, in a small homeless puppy type of way. i want him to be beautiful and happy, but he isn't, and it's sort of morbid. brian was wonderfully good, as usual.
haley 2008-04-07 ch 26, anon.	abuse"He used to take Simon’s bitterness and pseudo-intellectual reflections for a sort of farce, like the duality of seriousness and humor in Frank O’ Hara’s work. He had to admit though; sometimes he had a little too much hope in things." that explained alot of things. it seems like nora gets alot of action, for some reason. it also ** me off alot when nora got the piercings and talked about the hair dying. it just made me feel sick. also, i love Rain. she is the bomb.
haley 2008-04-07 ch 25, anon.	abuse"He took off his kitchen mittens as he sat on her bed." Geez, all of these chapters make me feel so anxious.
haley 2008-04-05 ch 24, anon.	abusei love brian. this chapter made me nervous for some reason...
haley 2008-03-18 ch 22, anon.	abuse“I think they confuse me with him sometimes. They talk to me after class in a certain way. It’s interesting. I’ve worked with Elena for years, in different plays and projects—she’s the one playing Carla right now—and it’s only now that she’s having a hard time looking me in the eyes. I think he’s her type.” favorite quote. this chapter seemed a bit different (style wise) than the others? i don't know why. i would give a little constructive criticism, but i never have before, so why start? anyway, yeah, brian kicked **, in a calm way.

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