This one is so serene. The sing song rhythm accentuates the serenity even more. This makes dying seem rather pleasant.

I said I'd check this out, and I'm glad I did. Has a very calming but inwardly wild and adventurous feel.

I wonder about the line
"For woeful years have left us now –
Think not of laments past;"
because to me, 'laments' seems to skew the rhythm of the poem slightly. Although I have nothing to offer in its place, so I probably don't have the grounds to comment much on it.

Overall, really good. I've read several of your pieces now, and they never fail to impress me. You sure have a gift for poetry.

You have such an ear for rhythm and rhymes! The rhymes are never too overpowering or forced like most rhyming things. They seem to come naturally from the poem itself.

The rhythm, however, could stand some variance. It's so uniform throughout that it could lull someone to sleep, or on the other hand, rush them through it so fast they're not aware of what they're reading. Breaking from rhythm at an important part of the poem can draw attention to that part.

I'm interested especially in the voice here: "my frightened one"--who is speaking? A God-like figure? Or a cunning devilish one?

Great poem!

Very good, but I'm wondering...do you ever do poems out of rhyme? I usually rhyme, too, but I'm just wondering...

-Ramen