FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| critc 2007-10-07 ch 1, anon. | abuseGood. I liked it quite a bit. I think the only thing that should be changed is the last bit what he says just doesn't flow right with me. I don't mean that I don't like the message, but that the order of the words doesn't sound good in my head. And then one more thing you accidentally put through when I think you meant though starting the third paragraph. |
| Sakina the Fallen Angel 2007-09-30 ch 1,  | abuseThat was hauntingly beautiful! Perhaps a little more backstory, so we have a better idea of what led to the angel's death? |