Reviews for A Secret Visitor - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: A Secret Visitor

x.inseparable 2007-10-14 ch 2,	abusesigh This is so adorable :) The situation is so cute and Michael seems like the world's best boyfriend right now ;)
criti-sized 2007-10-07 ch 2,	abuseWell it's not Chris, that was in her window as I read, but her boyfriend. That was something nobody would've expected, I think, especialy since you didn't mention Micheal, but that makes it funnier. It's true that most people would've used the front door, if her parents agreed with the guy she was dating. The ending was cute, and her relationship with Micheal is cute, what I would say is a teenager infatuation. I understand why you caled it 'A Secret Visitor'. This was a cute two shot. C.S.
Twilight Starr 2007-10-06 ch 2,	abuseSweet, adorable ending! Great job. Have a terrific day. :) ~Twilight Starr~
criti-sized 2007-10-02 ch 1,	abuseThis two-shot seems to be very interesting. I like the narration in it, and how it definitely has a lght air to it. You may want to watch out thought, you changed tenses in it quite bit, and it can be sort of distracting. Also, it looks like you a have a few fragmen sentences in it, but what person's story doesn't have mistakes in it. I'm allways getting coached about my mistakes and slip ups O_O. I think it's great how you introduce her siblings, and sort of bring them into characterization, rather than leaving them in the background of the story. But if her sister is two years younger than her, that makes me wonder how old she is. Lol, I'm guessing the person that woke her up and whose head she saw was Chris'. But maybe not. C.S.
I Will Always Be S.tronger 2007-10-01 ch 1,	abuseAhh cliff hanger! I love the beginning. Update soon!
Twilight Starr 2007-10-01 ch 1,	abuseIntriguing, great beginning. Also thanks for reviewing my story "Corruption and Innocence". Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a wonderful day. :) ~Twilight Starr~

Return to Top