FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| 123454321 2007-10-24 ch 1,  | abuseThe rhyming in this seems very forced. Especially the line "but pus me enough and I'll attack like a bull". When I read that I almost slapped my own forehead. Other than that, I think this was a very nice poem. The content is easy to relate to and you stated your ideas in an easy to understand way. I liked the line "People tend to start yelling right out of the gate."; it seems to fit with reality. -J.A. |
| Luny Loona 2007-10-05 ch 1, | abuseAgain, I like your...portrayal (is that the right word?) of the 'strange person'. I still suggest you get rid of the full stops. The line: 'I’ll quietly state, sometimes passionately' isn't that a little contradictory? |