Good stuff: interesting story, amusing magic, etc.

Bad stuff: Your writing skills need work. You need to work on your proofreading; you should use your spell-checker, and your writing program is overly helpful and is messing up your dialogue. (like this: "With Seseru Hanga from Tsukau." He explained. In standard usage, the first period should be a comma and the H in he should not be capitalized. This sentence is in standard usage: "Come, Spot," said Jane. )

Weird stuff: Why the change in pronouns in the center of the chapter? From I to you. Also, in what way did she save his life? He was already washed up on the beach when she found him. I adore your bunny and I'm worried about the monkey, which you mention only once. If they left the Island, how did they, or in what, did they leave?

Finally, check your verbs: To throw, to bore. Past tense forms: threw, not through; bored, not board. Homophones are always a **. Watch out for them, they're sneaky. Lynn.

well there are some facts I need to pinpoint.

Halfway through this chapter, I found you state Lynne using 'you' instead of the first person POV, I. That sounds confusing, but maybe that's your style or something.

And more important, I think you'll need better paragraphing. As in, a new dialog begins with a new paragraph. At least it looks neater better than a whole chunk of words, don't you think so?

Ugh. I also found this story a bit too fast-paced. I mean, well...Sometimes I was expecting more stuffs, but it just skipped towards the next point, and I ended up with a big 'huh'.

Hope you aren't annoyed by my review. But nonetheless, the story itself is interesting and the humor lives up to my expectation.

Don't worry. Keep the hard work up!

Hello! It's me again!

What is it with people not reviewing on this site? Seriously!

Anyway, the only real downside of this story is its grammatical and spelling errors... for instance:

I walked over to where I threw my alarm clock, picked up the many pieces it was now in, and through it away, then walked over to my dresser and got out a pair of clothes.

It's "threw it away"

I like it how your chapters aren't too long or too short.