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| fatbird33 2008-02-22 ch 1,  | abusehehe |
| simpleplan13 2008-02-03 ch 1, | abuseThat was really funny, but the ending poses a good question and makes you think.. great write |
| littlemandalee 2007-12-29 ch 1, | abuseThis is really cute. A very interesting twist on an old cliche. As much amusing as it is creative. |
| L3G3nD 2007-12-25 ch 1, | abuseWell, lol that was pretty funny. [And worshipped him till he died.] Haha, I liked it. The last paragraph was a nice ending you have got there, especially the last sentence. [Or are they just trying to live?] Anyway, I figured out you have an interest in writing insects and plants, that's pretty unique. Keep the good work up and happy writing! |
| Oracle of Destiny 2007-10-12 ch 1, | abuseHehe, a knight swatting flies is something that you never come across. LOL - it is so damn funny :) Please write more like this hehe. |
| fields-of-Elysium 2007-10-10 ch 1, | abuseI like this poem, and it makes me laugh, but I think some of the rhymes are forced. You might want to try rearranging the words a little to make it work better, especially the last stanza. Other than that, great job! |
| Kisei 2007-10-04 ch 1, | abuseThis made me laugh. I don't read enough funny stuff. "Showed no mercy on any fly" I think that should be 'to,' not 'on.' And your rhyme sounds a bit forced in a few parts, but its great overall. |
| N.E. Olson 2007-10-03 ch 1, | abuseThis made me laugh. It is a very interesting idea, and completely different from the usual knight in shining armor image which you dispel immediately. One this I would caution you on is the beat. Most of the time you wrote in iambic pentameter (which is my favorite, incidentally. YAY!), but some lines didn't fit with this rhythm. It tripped me up a little at times, especially towards the end. But other than that, I really liked this. It's very creative! : ) |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-02 ch 1, | abuseLol, this is an awesomely amusing poem. Good luck with poetry and life. Have a wonderful day. :) ~Twilight Starr~ |
| xEmoMuffinx 2007-10-02 ch 1, | abuseHilarious! The rhyming is fine, but the last stanza...unless it is implied that live is an anagram of evil... Anyway, this reminds me of Don Quixote on his little...mare or was it a donkey? Mule? I forget. Very funny! I'd ask you to review some of my stories, but FictionPress doens't let me. |