FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Taltush/MeiMei 2007-10-04 ch 1,  | abuseIt's pretty good, I suppose. I like that it's vivid and has some really great imagery. I like that "you" are the sun and that dreaming is not only in the fantasizing sense but also in the literal sleeping aspect. It gives it something interesting and fresh. There's a nice flow and some of the lines are just beautiful. On the other hand, it's a pretty bland poem. Yes, you're a dreamer. There isn't much emotion or true feeling behind it. It's kind of more descriptive than meaningful and poetry needs a good balance of the two. I kind of wished for something a bit MORE here, but didn't get it. It's not bad, but something deeper might really help make it really good. |
| sylvia's syndrome 2007-10-03 ch 1, | abuseI think the first two lines are really captivating—- you had me interested from the beginning. Keep up the good work. |