I like the title as is. This is great with lots of well placed dark imagery.

powerful description... love the blanket simile

I think it's worth turning in. It's not like most of the other poems we've seen in class because this deals with the subcon. instead of using concrete items and the senses. But it's still vivid and thought provoking. Nicely done, Kimmi. I don't have any suggestions for the title, though--my brain's not clear enough for that at the moment.

Love the tone. I got this dream-like, weightless impression. And it's dark and light at the same time. Effective use of first-person. Great work!

Interesting concept. Your diction was very thought-provoking. I’m not coming up with any ideas for a title though. Keep writing!