FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2008-02-24 ch 1,  | abuseI like the idea of the piece a lot.. and I really like the ending with the suffocating part.. that was really powerful One part "Nothing you can say/Nothing you can do/Can ever make want" the repeating of can kinda got to me.. maybe make it Will ever make me want? But either way you forgot the me Also some punctuation might make it flow better... but it's a really good piece... you can definitely feel the anger... nicely done PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon.. there's a link in my profile |
| Made in Britain 2007-10-07 ch 1, | abuseBut you said you loved me |
| Eagle Seance 2007-10-03 ch 1, | abuseOh dear... maybe it's a good thing that I'm not with anyone. This is just awful (the problem of ex's not your poem!). I liked the 'loudness'. It really got across the emotions of the narrator. |
| Aznighast 2007-10-03 ch 1, | abuseBatch slap 'im |