Great writing with the potential to go far. Since it does have that potential, I’m sure you won’t mind some concrit:


Your piece is brilliant, but the constant use of bold/italics or excessive spacing or brackets/commas spoils it and detracts from the poem. Your poem should emphasise itself, you shouldn’t need word to do it for you.

I loved your analogies. Great job!

Thank you for posting this! Maybe you wouldn’t mind checking out a few of my writings too if you feel like it and liked the review? If you do, I recommend my rants. I hope the concrit helped!

Sakura.

[Yes, I copy/paste most of my reviews. So sue me. The concrit changes per review, and you get tips, right? Win/win situation. End of.]

Fantastic. I actually didn't like this at first, until I read it again, and then I decided I loved it. A wonderful metaphor for infatuation, I must say. I wasn't a huge fan of how short and choppy each piece seemed though; it didn't feel quite right to me. Still, I loved it. Keep writing.