 Taltush/MeiMei 2007-10-08 . chapter 1If you hadn't repeated some lines and concepts too many times, this could have been a really good poem. However, the overuse of certain concepts coupled with grammar mistakes made this into something that needs work. Despite the fact that it is not a long poem, it kind of dragged on after a bit. The flow is very good (I almost didn't notice the rhymes, they blend in so well) and the rhythm is all right (except for places where there are mistakes - I noticed another reviewer pointed them out), but if you just edited it a bit, this could be so much more impressive and solid. Mostly, though, it's good. |