FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Cymphany Jordan 2008-03-22 ch 1,  | abuseThis is beautiful writing; all of it captivates me entirely. Please, continue. |
| simpleplan13 2007-11-02 ch 1, | abusepowerful descriptions... I really love the stanzas about drinking them out of you... you described it amazingly... the whole piece is beautiful and poweful |
| Gabriel Lyman 2007-10-17 ch 1, | abusethat is some powerful writing from one of my favorite writers... Its been a long time since i've been on here, 10 months to be precise, but i wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this poem. |
| not sure yet 2007-10-15 ch 1, | abuseI think i may love it until the and over again point, but then the ending didnt seem quite as right but i think that is just me strong voice throughout, i really like the beginning imagery |
| sleeping Pisces 2007-10-14 ch 1, | abuseThe format of this poem really reflects its content, which I thought was pretty interesting. There was something so hollow about this whole thing. It seemed really sad, but in a different way than I’m used to from your stuff. It wasn’t tragic, but it was desperately heartbreaking. As always, your words are they very embodiment of emotion and passion. The title was also very well chosen. Wonderful poetry as per usual. Also, I have no idea why but I haven’t been getting my author alerts. I had no idea you’d updated to much since I last checked! Peace, Daze |
| caralita 2007-10-13 ch 1, | abuseThis poem is so beautiful and forlorn. Completely lovely. |
| dress her up in fairytales 2007-10-12 ch 1, | abuse"I can’t look/at you. you don’t/want to." those words hurt me ... i can relate so well to the lines because i just have a lot going on. |
| do the whirlwind 2007-10-12 ch 1, | abuseI absolutely love it. The way the words flow is breathtaking and agonizingly beautiful. |
| Leo 2007-10-11 ch 1, | abusepassionate and deep i loved it great job! |
| Stella Grimshaw. 2007-10-10 ch 1, | abuseI really loved this, just one question, did you mean holes during the first stanza, or just a literal meaning of it going into you whole? I love your metaphors throughout though especially I said that I wanted to drink you out of me; your soul so slippery that it could pass through me in just a few gulps. So gorgeous. |
| she smolders 2007-10-07 ch 1, | abuse"I said that I wanted to drink you out of me; your soul so slippery that it could pass through me in just a few gulps." Your poems surprise me everytime with their depth, your depth. Take care. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2007-10-05 ch 1, | abuseOh, just pure poetry. My favorite part was by far "they sink shiny wholes into the sound of us." That is just gorgeous. I don't even know what to say besides that. There is some beautiful imagery in here, too, of that beautifulugly kind: "feel you curdle and tenderize in my veins." Love that. Wonderful job. Keep writing! :) |
| White Tea and Ginger 2007-10-05 ch 1, | abuseI love this, and the format is really just lovely, it accentuates the bits that otherwise would have been ingored but are so, so powerful, like "with/all/this/silence" and "you don't/ want to", "there is so/much/there". Nicely done, other little phrases that I loved- the idea of a slippery soul. "shells shift into strange hibernations, I can’t look at you." "they sink shiny wholes into the sound of us." < the contrast between the wholes/holes is really neat. reminds me in a way of my recent peom "hide and seek". anyway, nicely done. |
| sincerely disregard 2007-10-05 ch 1, | abuseWonderful flow and imagery, plus two points for punctuating and capitalizing it appropriately. And your pen is lovely too. |