FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Twilight Starr 2007-11-01 ch 1,  | abuseNice poem. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Maximatum99 2007-11-01 ch 1, | abuseI hate being called immature! Anyway, this had a lot of meaning in it and flowed like a lightsaber through re-enforced titanium alloy. It was smooth. Nice work. |
| x.inseparable 2007-10-14 ch 1, | abuseThis is awesome! Damn, I hate it when people call me immature without any prior knowledge :/ You're a fantastic writer! |
| Luny Loona 2007-10-08 ch 1, | abuseWeird guy...isn't being with your family good? Anyway, I like how it doesn't have punctuation, so it doesn't disrupt with the flow. I liked the first line. I like your line about learning things in your own time. |
| Arafax 2007-10-08 ch 1, | abuseHmm...I'm not getting the emotion very strongly. While what you have is good, try playing around with different words to maybe express what you felt more vividly. But nice job overall. Keep up the good work. ~Arafax~ |
| The Maltese Falcon 2007-10-06 ch 1, | abuseKay, I like your style, it is simple and unpretentious, almost prose. The only thing I can say is that your words are too neutral, they do not transmit the emotion that you must have felt when he told you those words. I think you could do with a stronger ending, one which refects the anger his words evoked in you. |