Nice start! I really want to read more. Post soon, please. There was really nothing wrong that I could point out. Good luck!

Nicely written! This really grabs my interest, and I want to know more about the world and what happens to the baby.

I just want to point out a couple of things. In "the road at the end of the ally looked deserted," ally should be spelled alley as an ally is a friend. At "on a soft blue blanket lie a babe," lie should be lay. And finally, with "Dark curls embroidered a small, smooth face," embroidered should probably be bordered since embroidered refers to designs made by sewing.