It's a little confusing, and you also switch from first to third person. I wish there was a bit more justification behind all actions (can we see her best friend being mean? Why are they still best friends? Can we see him ditching Tori for her best friend?). But it's sweet, and I'm glad xoxluurve added this to our c2.

oh! i melted too... XD loved this! :)

Oh dear. Ha ha I consider this so ironic. Loved it. Hehe :)

aw cute! ^_^good job! :)

my heart tightened for bit there. whoa.

As others have said - a little rushed! And methinks the boy should suffer so much more for the wrong he has done! She shoulda kicked him out, not ran away :p But it's a good idea.

=O puppy part was a little confusing...might wanna make it more detailed :) just a suggestion ^^;

that was simply gorgeous =]
i loved much much

It's a good story but you switch the POVs right in the middle, so in the beginning you're in "I" mode and then when you finish you're in "she/he" mode.

Sorry if I don't make sense.

And then I was kind of confused about why she suddenly went to get a puppy?

BRILLIANT :-)

this is good

This seems a little bit rushed. You could make it a lot richer with detail into the characters, and probably add in another scene or something. I'm sure this would be brilliant with a little more work, it is already cute and has a strong plot.


Keep writing!
-A.R

(Maybe check out my new story, The Evelenne Project, if you are interested? Or my NEW poems, the old ones are weird...

aw