Reviews for You Never Learn - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: You Never Learn - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

L K Blake 2008-06-17 ch 1,	abuseThis is sad, i can see me doing this :( sometimes the questions run through my head and keep running untill the chance is missed, i hate that good writing :) (a few words in there i didn't know lol) i like how you put this together, an entertaining quick read.
centenarian 2008-06-04 ch 1,	abuseNow that is really sad. And it got me thinking about something...jeezus. And the part where you say: And who the hell came up with the word type to begin with? Gawd..you are right. I feel really sad for her. She let her chance slip away because she was too goddammn shy. And I'm shy. I might end up like her! Anyways, enough about that. Good story, I mean, I can really feel the regret, the...anger? yeah..good job.
McQuinn 2008-06-04 ch 1,	abuseHi there, This is great. Your writing flows quite nicely and your descriptions and use of second person point-of-view really allows your readers to feel as if they're in the protagonist's shoes. We feel the shame and regret along with her, from the beginning to the conclusion of the story. (At first I thought it was a happy ending, with them meeting each other again. My feelings changed after I was reminded of the title and after I reread the conclusion. It's actually a very cruel ending, as it re-starts the vicious cycle of them meeting up and her making excuses, regretting, etc. It's as if she's questioning herself, asking whether or not she's learned her lesson.) My favorite parts of the story have to be the first two lines and the last line. The first lines really reel the reader; it's a simple, nicely executed hook. :p It actually reminds me of DeNiro's line in Taxi Driver. "You...talking to me?" The last line is fantastic because, it's just so ambiguous. Did they really meet? Is it just her imagining things? Playing out a scenario? It's interesting to think about that. The only real constructive criticism I have is the repetition of "when" towards the beginning. It took away from the flow of the sentence--a comma in between the two may be able to fix that. Also, this sentence is a little awkward: "When the next time he comes by, what will you do?" If you reversed the two parts of the sentence, it would read, "What will you do when the next time he comes by?" which doesn't really make sense. If you worded the sentence as "What will you do the next time he comes by?" (notice the lack of "when") or as "The next time he comes by, what will you do?" it would sound much, much better. Overall, this was great. I truly enjoyed this! I look forward to reading more of your work soon. :) Best, -McQuinn
Emmie 2008-05-23 ch 1, anon.	abuseFor me that was really deep. The way you wrote that made it feel as though you were talking to me, telling me off for it. Only once it's happened to me and every day I still think about the what-ifs. About how young I am and that I can get someone better. Even gave me some courage is I see him again. lol Anyway, end of life story. It really touched me and it was awesomely written. Thank you.
Vivian 2008-05-09 ch 1, anon.	abuse...i have to say that's an absolutely incredible story. I completely identify with the character - it makes me think of the what-ifs if i had only had the courage. and it'll definitely make me try to take that chance when next time comes around. thanks for such a fantastic and stimulating story.
d666lisa 2008-04-20 ch 1,	abuseExcellent. I love the style that you wrote this in :)
Skaters Welcome 2008-04-09 ch 1,	abuseThat was very good. I liked the way it was written. It made me think a little. Nice job. :3
daydream14 2008-04-09 ch 1,	abuseWow. Quite harsh yet so true. people are afraid of the truth adn speaking up! Good job on alerting those hwo are not aware! I liked it :)
shake.and.burn 2008-04-04 ch 1,	abuseI just found this story and it was really good.. and thank you for pointing out that I am an idiot.. it passes by though after years and years.. anyway i really like it good work
Mon Esperance 2008-03-02 ch 1,	abuseThat was good, thank you. I think I'll take that advice ;P. Lol, anyways, I like it, it's different, refreshing.
Cheezieball 2008-02-27 ch 1,	abuseI wasn't going to give a 'review' comment thing cos I didn't know what to say about it. I found it interesting -nods- Point is, we share the same birthday =O And that's why I decided to say something. Yeahh... hope I didn't waste too much of your time (I'm 2years older xD But being 15.. was so cool T_T) That is all =D
Gabby 2008-02-25 ch 1, anon.	abusewow. I felt that, because I do that all the time. And this really made me think about all those times I just let it pass by, because of whatever reason, and now I think, so what if everyone's watching, what does it really matter. It's just people, it doesn't really matter what they think. Forget the what if's. Thanks, this will push me to (for some things) just go for it! Great piece and well written.
Sarah Allie 2008-02-24 ch 1,	abuseWow. This is... amazing. I love how the speaker was never identified, and how neither of the MCs have a name. It's amazingly well-written, and I'm adding it to my favorites :) Sarah :) x The Review Game
White Rose Blossom 2008-02-04 ch 1,	abuseInteresting! I liked it ^_^ -Aria
Lily Llynn 2008-02-03 ch 1,	abuseAn amazing oneshot. The writing is spectacular, and I just love the whole thing, I really do. (: adds to c2 (:

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