Well, considering the date on this I'm guessing you have no intention of continuing it, but I did think it good.

I wish you used some more pronouns here and there though. It seemed as if you were saying 'Owen' far too much, it took away from the fluidity in my opinion.

Also, 'The sea suddenly took a deep breath. It’s the only way to describe it.' was a bit odd to me. I didn't like the fact that you said 'It's the only way to describe it', it would have been much more powerful if you had left that tidbit out.

Anyways, overall this was good. I'll probably take a peek at some of your other stuff.

-Jessie m p.s. pay it forward