Why exactly are they keeping their marriage a secret from Nikhil?

AWW! -squeals- Beyond cute. He has a room at their house? Are they that close? Interesting.

While I can say I love the story so far, I can't really say I've got a good grip on the characters...maybe you should flesh them out a bit.

...that's my hint for many, many more chapters! They can't just get married and have no problems besides having to avoid her brother, anyways. So...I want more! ;)

When and how is Nikhil going to find out about them? -trembles in fear and suspense-

[“He wouldn’t widow his only sister.”] Hope not.

Thanks for the read! Sorry for the (EXTREMELY) over-due review.
Keep writing..you know you rock at it.

;)becky

[“You, my new brother-in-law. You’re not supposed to tell her, ‘I love you’ and ‘Marry me’ on the same day!”] LOL that was classic, my friend, classic. x]

[Diya questioned, “How come she knows, and I don’t?”] Oh man, I love how she can be so...kiddish in such a situation. Nice.

Aww, they've got such an innocent, simple Love. I also love the natural, pleasing, flow-y simplicity of your writing.

Great job with this chapter - don't know if I'd like a guy to propose to me the way Deepak did Diya, but I guess his proposal was long over-due. Those opportunists! LOL..kidding. Kind of.

...Love you, Deepak! xD

;)becky

Yep. DEFINITELY not like the other best-friend's-little-sister stories. The CULTURE! Jeez, woman! Major brownie points!

Wow. You really made me feel like barfing all over that loser's face. Ajit is A GIT! Ahem. (Hope no one's used that joke yet - it was pretty good, yeah? *gasps* Was it...intentional?! xD) I felt really protective of Diya ever since it was mentioned that she was from a conservativie family, and I felt just as uncomfortable as she was during the whole Ajit thing. What a sicko.

But Deepak is adorable.

"vociferated" -stands in awe-

;)becky

OOhh...eerie beginning. Gave me chills. I'm saving it in my quote book. The English version, I mean. x] NEXT CHAPTER! (p.s. love the summary, very eye-catching...different from the usual best-friend's-little-sister plots I read as a guilty pleasure...DON'T TELL!)

-the person who you want to kill because she's taken half a century to review your work even though you've reviewed her with the sweetest words an author can read

a.k.a. becky

P.S. SO SORRY about that, by the way. DON'T KILL ME! I have school on Monday!

Aww a guy who cooks?! Don't see that all that often in real life :P

I enjoyed reading this but the ending of the chapter was a bit confusing, how come Deepak lives with Diya and her family?

Cheers!

It was a nice surprise to find urdu/hindi lyrics and an even better one to realise it was a south asian story...good work!

I love it!!
when i saw the little thing from om shanti om i was like omg
i knoe since im indian and most indian people i knoe watch a lot of hindi movies im one not to watch them and find them boring( no offence) om shanti om was one i watched and i got all excited

i love it nd keep on writing.

=)

I like this. I really do. He is spontaneous, but spontaneity is good at times. You've got a good story-line so far. I want to see how it ends out.

Their relationship is almost tender. Never had one of those, then again, never had a man that I wanted to stay with more than five minutes-- Joke! Don't believe that. There was this one boy, but he got beat up by my ex and broke up with me, shows how much of a coward he was.

"The driver chuckled and asked, “Late to meet your girl?”" he would think somethign like that. Pervert.

"“Shh, it’s okay. I bet you kicked his **. You wouldn’t let him touch you.” She nodded in response, burying her head into his chest." His words sound a bit rushed. Maybe you could change it and make it come off more believable that he said it.

I guess her worry about what she's going to do is finally setting in. She hadn't thought of the reprecussions of breaking up with him until afterwards, but she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship like that. Who does?

"“He loves you like I love Diya.”" Ah! Cat's out the bag. He can't take it back now.

She has to recognize one thing. If Deepak makes her happy, he makes her happy.

You should finish this story. If it's a short one then that makes sense, but if it's going to turn out to be longer, maybe you should take your time with it.

C.S.

I know it's taken me forever to review you, and that makes me look bad and stuff... Just so you know, I'm from Reviewers_Found.

Anyways, onto the chapter.

The plot seems interesting and I like the idea that it's not set in America, or any majorly westernized country.
That alone gives the story a ten to me.

Diya, that's a pretty name. I tend to be attracted to any name that sounds foreign at all, or not fits a person in an abstract way.

"She had wanted to see the movie forever, and he finally had time to go with her." This sentence raises a question of what movie. You state 'the movie', but I don't think you ever put the name of the movie, maybe you could change it to 'a movie' instead.

"Then her fiancé, Ajit, smiled and winked at her, complimenting her beauty, much to Nikhil and Deepak’s chagrin." Lol, was it the wink or the compliment that got her? ^_*

"“Why? You let Deepak do it to you all the time, and I’m engaged to you.”" Is he drunk? Only an idiot would think that instantly.. Or nope, he's just jealous.

See, now it's just bad that his jealousy had to come out right before the wedding. Why didn't he just tell her before how he felt about Deepak. From the way that her family sort of agreed to him being with her, they'd have most likely stopped Deepak being around her so much.

"Her knee came up to Ajit’s groin, striking him at his most vulnerable point." That's nice, I would've gotten out of control. I'll show him some used goods."

"“That had better have been the last time you do that."" See, right there, too. He'd have been more than crouched over.

I guess her throwing her engagement ring away is good enough. I'd have kept it and pawned it, or something.

"She had to talk to someone. The only name she could think of was Deepak." Lol, yeah that's because it was the one name that kept coming up in the conversation with Ajit.

Good chapter. We already know that's he's going to pick her up, and if we're lucky some sort of fighting scene will ensue. Maybe some swords and flying around on trees, wind-- Not, joke. I can't help myself sometimes.

This was a really nice first chapter. As you made clear at the beginning, there were a few things that needed revision, and some repeated things in different words, but what story doesn't have that?

Great chapter.
C.S.

its great! update soon!

You should continue writing the story, I think its really good :)
Good Job!

OMG I luv indian stories, probably because im indian and this site really doesnt have that many of them! OMG i so lurv u major right now. update soon!