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Reviews For: I'm In Love With My Bus Driver - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

wrambler
2008-01-21
ch 12,
abusethis story is good but it's starting to get quite inconsistent... earlier in the story you show vanessa visiting lucas' home and you definitely don't make it sound like it's her first time there, and here in chapter 12 she is visiting for the second time.
also, previously lucas went to college down the street from vanessa, and she visited him there now he's suddenly going away to college in chicago? if you want the character to move away that's good but it needs a transition. the writing itself still sounds good their is just a lot of inconsistency in the plot. also the beginning sounded more rural/small town and now suddenly they're living in los angeles.

but to end on a positive note, i don't want this to all sound bashing because i do find it an interesting story. the characters are overall very well developed, the same level of attention just needs to not be placed on plot/setting consistency.
18crazybanana
2008-01-09
ch 17,
abuseWhat a sad ending! I actually cried! I'm so sad it's over, but glad that Vanessa and Luke get a happy ending. Will there be a sequel?
TheNarglesWillEatYou
2008-01-07
ch 17,
abusetear because it's over. that was a really good story!! how could it just end like that?? really good!!
SecretWhispers
2008-01-05
ch 17,
abuseThis story was so cute! A little confusing in some parts, but other than that really good.
lvtwilight
2008-01-05
ch 17,
abuseOMG I LOVED THIS CHAPTER!BUT CAN YOU PLZ MAKE A SEQUAL I WOULD LOVE YOU 4EVER!
Somewhere InBetween Hi and ...
2008-01-05
ch 17,
abuseaw that was so sweet! i loved it!
18crazybanana
2008-01-04
ch 16,
abuseI know for sure I'm going to cry during the last chapter, whether it's a happy chapter or not! This was a great chapter, and PLEASE UPDATE SOON.

Don't leave us hanging ...
18crazybanana
2008-01-04
ch 15,
abuseAW
I loved this chapter SO MUCH. The ending was sweet and amazing, I can't believe it's almost coming to an end :(
18crazybanana
2008-01-04
ch 14,
abuseSweet chapter! Love Vanessa and Lucas ... Poor him though, his family is wack!
Somewhere InBetween Hi and ...
2008-01-03
ch 16,
abuseaw! that was so sweet! he asked her to marry him!
TheNarglesWillEatYou
2008-01-03
ch 16,
abuseYay! is Vanessa gonna propose to Luke? since everyone is getting married?? that would be a cool end!! update soon!!
xXSunKissedXx
2008-01-03
ch 16,
abuseAwh.. that's so cute.
i can't wait to read the ending.
i love this story :]
TheNarglesWillEatYou
2007-12-27
ch 15,
abuseso there's gonna be a horny sex chapter soon? please? it already sounds like they screwed, "you have leaves in your hair!" come on, don't cheat us!
TheNarglesWillEatYou
2007-12-27
ch 14,
abuseyou really like Law and Order, don't you? good chappy!
x.betweenthelines
2007-12-27
ch 15,
abusenice chapter!
^^
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