Your first chapter is strong enough to be a stand alone one shot. Oh and amzaingly precise spelling and grammar!! =P

I loved this piece. First the repetition at the beginning and then the lovely descriptive words used perfectly throughout the duration. It was just the right amount of detail. Enough to get a visual and yet keep the mystery of the piece and let imgination play a part.

It was beautifully written. The explanation at the end was simple and it really tied the piece together in a circle with the use of 'miss' again.

Magnificent!

~Maine