"like being something, /while not being anything / at all."

this was just so, so, beautiful, it brought a tear to my eye.

this flowed very nicely

"and she is nothing more than a swatch

of colors,"

Oh. Oh oh oh. That's wonderful, that's beautiful and real.

You're good, Mr. Fifteen-and-Dead.

faves..

love this

i love the flow of this. the line breaks are perfection.

A watercolor in cold tones is what this made me think of. The deconstruction of the girl. This is excellent... it's ephemeral and fleeting and so natural.

marie

this is my FAVORITE piece you have EVER written. i nearly cried, stephen.

The last stanza is my favorite, especially the third line. The ending (last three lines) is amazing as well.

This poem is very refreshing from what I've read of yours before. More mature, I think.

I love how the opening rolls in (like climbing to the top of a roller coaster) and then you're flying at 80 mph down the track until the ride jerks to a stop, never wanting it to end.

Felicia.

oh snap! this poem just gets to me! Wow, this is beautiful, wonderful...oh gosh fantastic, and your only 15, you put me to shame ;)

effing hell this is so beautiful.

it's simply worded but has a complex/deeper meaning

love the title of this poem- the poem itself is like a painting

"hands open like/butterflies upon her/ginger wrists- like yearning." - i think i'm in love

fantasticfantastic poem

Well this was surprising. This is a very different format and subject for you and yet you pursued it flawlessly. I wish I knew what inspires you to write like this it's just so thick, deep, and down right real.

her life in metaphor- in split

raindrops and salted tears.

she was made to wrap her arms around you

and be engulfed by your

permeating deprivation.

please get published. you are an artist. this is art.

Interesting! Some of the time I felt that it was a bit like a bunch of disjointed words being rammed together into lines, but perhaps that is what makes it so special and haunting. Definitely a memorable piece! I really like the message too. My only suggestion is that you think a bit harder about the word choises.

-Frost

Wow. Fantastic imagery, painting something indescribable in my mind that won't fade away soon.

"hands open like

butterflies upon her

ginger wrists- like yearning.

in leaves

still beautiful from the

rain."

Perfection in twenty-five syllables.

I hope you realize what a gift you have with language. Your poetry will be remembered.