oh, now i understand the apostrophes. --grins--

so...my favourite line(s) would have to be:

'The sun has risen so high it's disappeared
And left the sky impossible.'

brilliant, because i see the sun as an anchor, too, and without it there is nothing for your eyes to focus on. so there's just endless blue, endless endlessness ;)

and the line "until i wake to sleep" is so true. life is just a repeat of the same things. you still have to sleep and you still have to wake. i have to admit, i read that line how i wrote it then and not how you had it, ending in "...within the pulsing chore" merely because it struck me harder by itself, just as "wake to sleep".

nice rhyming, not completely constrained to the same rhythm which sometimes takes away the impact of the poem.

and the alliterations were used very well in the first stanza, with the 'fiercer fight' and 'vibrations of violence', making it almost lyrical with the long sounds of 'low', 'before' and 'gloom'.

gosh, i haven't done poem analysis since English in school, and i have to say, i miss it :)

overall, great work, and sorry i can't give stronger constructive crit. :)