I liked the contrast between the beginning and the end. How he had a complete turn-around. Usually I would say that was unrealistic, but for your character, I thought it seemed like something he would do. Just do something because it was what he had been avoiding for years. It seemed... fitting.

I also liked your tone a lot. Very interesting and fun to read. It was very suspense-y. I enjoyed reading all the build to the climax.

-Peach, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

Stanzas are needed for this, too. It would separate the different thoughts of '..., child.' It would define the changes better.

Wow. That's a lot of similes. I'm kind of impressed because I don't think I've ever seen so many. The whole poem is practically made of it. But there were very descriptive; it was interesting to see what you compared it to.

-Peach, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

I think single-spaces would be much better for this. It would space out the words less, obviously, so that the words would tie in together more. And stanzas, too, would break up the different thoughts and phrases. Especially since you mention different points in the character's life.

I like that you wrote a whole life of the girl. It's interesting to get the whole picture and not just you know, a scene.

-Peach, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

Your word choices are gorgeous. You describe everything so vividly and precisely, I have the best image in my mind.

But it was a wee bit flowery. You have to watch how many phrases you're going to pile on top of each other when you put something in paragraph form. If it were in poetry format, it wouldn't have seemed so much like that. But in sentences, it all blurs together until you can't really appreciate all the wonderful words. And that would be a shame, because the descriptions, again, are lovely.

-Peach, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

Your stanzas are very nice in this. Single-spaced and clean, they look very organized.

I love the tone for this. It's very wistful and soft, like a memory. Which suits the theme quite perfectly. :)

And I like how you tied in the beginning with the end by mentioning the radio. It was a nice thought that combined the poem into a whole.

-Peach, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)