forgot to mention, it would be helpful to sometimes say who is talking, as i got confused about who was saying what, then i had to go back and realize, oh ok, he said that not him.

Ex:
“Taking the weight of the world upon yourself again, Ivan.”

“Just figuring some things out.”

“Heavens help us if you’re trying to think. You know that never leads to anything good.”

Ivan snorted with laughter as he attempted to sit up again, murmuring thanks when strong hands supported


*This was easy enough to read because the first line had "Ivan" in it, but sometimes the voices didn't fit until i read Ivan argued or "obviously," as the sentences could have fit both characters. By the way, the "obviously" is a nice touch.

I really liked this story, but there were some troubling aspects that i couldn't quite figure out and didn't want to, such as when Andrei telling Ivan to cut his head off. I couldn't figure out how he was able to tell him that if that was the only way he could be released from the curse...reason being is the not telling is part of the curse and he was able to tell.

Did you know, I actually dreamt Andrei last night...his silver eyes at least. I love that image i get when he, as the wolf and human, watches Ivan, and the making out of guy and guy is always a hot thing to picture... i wondered if it would have had the same impact with a man and woman?

Wow she has a harem?! No that's just not fair! Or maybe that's the only way it would've worked...? I mean,one man couldn't handle her,but two...hm...Oh well! Andrei is just the same teasing,trying-to-be-as-annoying-as-hell-but-still-caring wolf that is very intent of devouring our cute little, but truly feisty, Vanya. Daily, if possible. Or was it hourly? Hm...;) I really loved this epilogue,it made a perfect ending to a great story! Way to go!

What an awesome story! Obviously. XD I am familiar with this folk tale and I must say that I never thought of slash-ing it. I'm glad you did,tho. It was such a great read with quite a bit of the original story preserved that if I ever dared reading it again in its original form,this story would keep popping inside my head ;) I loved Helen and her bossiness :) I could just picture her bossing the two of them around with that little sadistic grin on her face. Andrei...yum.Both forms,obviously. I think that is quite self-explanatory. Ivan...just makes me want to cuddle him and ruffle his hair and then tease him mercilessly about his precious wolf ;) hee hee All in all,thank you for this great read!

So sweet. Ivan isn't dumb, he's just got such a big imagination that he can see all sides of an argument. Which means he might make a good tsar as long as he has someone beside him to remind him what's really important.

If you ever edit this you might consider adding scene breaks. It wasn't until Ivan sat up that I realized he wasn't still in the throne room.

I haven't read the original fairy tale, but I definitely like you version. Good job.

This story was AMAZING and breathtaking with a perfect ending. Much love!

O...I liked this very much, both the story and its epilogue. I think I actually liked it better than the original tale. Wonderful alternate version. And really, even though it wasn't looked over by a beta, I think you did a good job on your own. Much better than I ever do with my stories (which is why I don't have much of anything posted on this site...I like to keep my horribly-written stories to myself. XD) I am SO adding this to my favorites. =D

Ohh *shiny* I like this alternate version of Firebird. Especially with a sulky, lovely, adorable Wolf

The flow of the story at the beginning is slow, but strong and it easy to identify with your main character ( is trying to gave you a constructive criticism). I loved the epilogue, it made me giggle.

Squee! I remember this story! It was one of a whole bunch of fairy tales on CDs and they were in Chinese. Was it a wolf though? I don't remember that. I think I remember golden apples. No, something to do with bars and such. Anyhow. Very nice. I like Helen!

Kayoot! I thoroughly approve! It feels like a one shot, but there's still more to come! That's a pleasant surprise ^_^

That was fantastic. I followed a link from Maderr's journal. You have made Ivan a wonderful, real character. The worries and doubts in the final scene were perfect. As was the ending.

I did spot a couple of typos towards the beginning - Ivan is Ian in one - but otherwise it was beautifully written and expressed.

I really liked this story, it was quite fun :D
Thank you for writing ! ^_^

So cute! But I don't agree with you, Andrei act more like a brother toward Helen than Ivan :P

Shiny! ^_^
Ivan is sweet and funny, and Andrei is simply awesome. Helen made me laugh, though she seems a bit unstable...

What's with the beheading thing in fairytales anyway? You did it very nicely - Ivan's grief felt very real, and that he trusted Andrei enough to actually do it.

The only thing I'd like to point out is that your scene breaks were a bit hard to spot - all paragraphs are separated by a single blank line, and the scene changed had nothing else to mark them as such. I could still tell they were scene changes, but marking them a little clearer might read easier.

The epilogue explained a few things yes, as well as being very funny. Two husbands for Helen, eh? How'd that happen? ^_^

Now I want to finish my retelling of the legend of Deirdre nd get started on that black horse fairytale that's been bugging me XD