Fabulous!! Please write more soon!
I can't wait!

yo, good story! love it! :p plz update soon!

Hi friend,

This is Night Silver. You and I were PMing a while back, but I can't reply to you because your profile doesn't have a "message me" option. What do I do to get in touch with you?

hey i love the story cant wait for chapter 8!

So I've caught up, and I still stick to what I said. You have numerous typos in the last two chapters. still, it's cute.

Hi, my name is Kandice and I like to reveiw random stories. I don't know what brought me to choose yours, but there was just something that piqued my interest. I know I haven't read all of it yet, and I will, but I think I kind of have a feel of it. If I am wrong about any of these aspects I point out because they come out later in the chapters I will amend it.

Okay, to start off with the positive. You definitely write in an artful and interesting way. It's detailed while managing not to touch on anything too deep, the type of mentality a suicidal person would have, careful not to dig too deep to remind themselves of the pain. You certainly had an adequate amount of background, which is really important. you definitely have an interesting story.

But I do have several negative comments. You make some subtle spelling errors like putting "my" instead of "me". Your writing is definitely dramatic, but at some points it's just melodramatic, excessively so, it also feels a little disjointed. I would like there to be a little more detail of her surroundings and her friends. Try to avoid labeling people when describing them becuase everyone's veiw of a, well let's say "emo" is different. Some people just think of sad people, others think of the tight jeans and big hair, while still others think of crossdressers. Let the reader draw their own conclusions. My last criticism is that I'm afraid your character might be a little bit of a Mary Sue, that is to say she's like Superwoman- indestructible and can do anything. If it wasn't for her being really depressed I would say that she isn't much of a relatable character.

Thank you for putting up with my harsh critique and if you have any questions please feel free to contact me. Please know I am just trying to help. I look forward to you being at least this harsh if you ever get the chance to take a look at my slayer story. As I always say: If you're not getting criticized, you're doing something wrong. So I'm off to read the rest!

This story has an interesting plot, it reminds me of anime with the certain elements it has. I love this story so far, post the chapter 6 soon!

That was awesome!

I like this chapter! A new roommate, this smells like something important. So it's Jennifer, Hope's friend, who died. I get it. Well, great work! Update ASAP! ☺

Wait, I don't get it. Who died? I mean, I like the plot and the characters and all, it's just that you never mentioned who died. Or maybe you did and I didn't pay attention. Nice chapter! Update ASAP! ☺

Hi there friend. I love this story. I give you high kudos.

I feel their is a particular...aura, I think around this story. There's a special style to it that speaks to me, and just resonates. You write in such a beautiful fashion. The charactors are easy to relate to, and Zane has a great personality. His sense of humor is precious!

Continue on fellow author!
Night Silver's Whisper

Amazing, as ever. Zane is very interestingly portrayed and I can't wait to see more of him.

Once again, I am overwhelmed with respect and impressive-ness.

The flow you have for this story, the simple, yet deep description for each of the charectors, and the subtle yet mysterious intro of Zane toward the end. It's amazing how smooth you make this story...how each sentence paints a picture, a dark, painful one, with a mysterious, beckoning, whispering undertone of the things to come later in the story...You create the seperation Hope has from the rest of the world, and yet how she's right in the middle of it perfectly.

I want to learn of Zane. He intrigues me. I want to see how you paint him, and how Hope sees him. I have thoughts on where this might go, but I'll wait for you, the writer, to jump in and reveal all...well not all...that wouldn't be exciting...and from what I've seen so far, it woudn't be your style.
Night Silver's Whisper

Hi there.

You reviewed my "Night's Embrace" story, so I thought I would at least come check out your works.

The summery for this story caught my attention immediatly. I clicked it without hesitation, (even though my family is waiting for me to return to the living room to watch our movie) because it just sounded so much my style of interest. I loved the foremat of how it was written, and within a few lines, I was hooked. I'd already decided to put it on my alert list, and was already planning on reviewing it.

Your talent deserves at least a review. I've been on this site coming up a year. I've wrote much of my own work, and some have reviewed them. Those who do, I check out their sites and their works as I have yours. But with your style of the written word took me by surprise. Your skill with the scrawl made me want to flatter you with compliments...and so I hope I have done an okay job at that at least. This story deserved at least that much.

Night Silver's Whisper

Oh wow, scary. I wonder what happened. Still love your writing style