FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| fire-breathing-kitten 2007-10-25 ch 1,  | abuseFunnier than most of the horror stories on here. I like the way this is written, and am liking your two main protagonists (or what looks like being your two main protagonists). Looking forward to seeing more. |
| dreamshell 2007-10-19 ch 1, | abuseI like your inspirations and where this story could go is anyone's guess, but there are some issues; Firstly, you jump around between present and past tense every so often. Might wanna figure out which one you favor. ;) Also, this is kind of an uninteresting start, to be honest. Perhaps you could edit and expand, give the reader a little more to get them into it? --dreamshell-- |