Wow, that was really good. The whole time I was literally on the edge of my seat and waiting for what would happen next. I really like how you incorporated two stories within the same piece and that the idea was original. Your descriptions were very good and even though I don't normally read this genre, I really enjoyed it. Good job.

I very much enjoyed the way you described both the setting and your character. It was refreshingly different and entertaining.

The plot line too was creative and once again different, which is always fun, but maybe it was just me, but the end seemed a bit confusing. I read it over twice to completely understand and even then I'm not too sure I understand completely. I think it would help to clarify a little, but I guess the mystery of it is what makes it interesting.

~Liberry

This was brilliant. You've woven a neat little tale (within a tale!) here, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Jo (or Susie or Melinda) was so well-developed in such a short space of time, you get a huge thumbs-up. I could feel her terror in those final moments when she's panicking in the stranger's car.

And isn't Beatrice just like the rest of us? While she probably doesn't write down her imaginings, don't we, as (somewhat casual) creative writers imagine all sorts of sinister scenarios for thinly-veiled alter egos? 'Beatrice', like Jo (or Susie or Melinda) would certainly be on my list of names that nothing bad ever happens to...

Best of luck on all your future writing endeavours!

I like the plot line, very creative.