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| Tranquil Thorns 2008-03-16 ch 1,  | abuseI like the 'rush' of the lines. Since a lot of them are short, I was able to read quickly and decipher a feeling of intensity/longing. Does that make sense? As to the poem, in the line 'Lay in comfort and console', I think 'lay' would be better as lie, since you're talking about two things. 'The harsh remains of too much adoration' is a striking line, and I like the irony, the way you hint that 'too much' adoration can be painful and harmful. Nicely done. (: |
| kloun doll 2007-10-22 ch 1, | abuseit sounds powerful, I mean when I was reading this poem the feeling was so fast, I could understand, yeah, love hurts and sometimes it's cool... |
| Twilight Starr 2007-10-21 ch 1, | abuseWell worded poem. Awesome job! ~Twilight Starr~ |