Very interesting O.O

I love all the vivid details and descriptions! I can almost feel the same things as the person in the story. And I like how the whole thing, you find out at the end, is a dream - something longed for but neglected when you wake up to reality.

woah!
god that was a strange mix of emotions right there!
you had me thinking hmm... good description and then hmm what's this about
then I got a bit confused, a tad bit worried.
I thought there was some bondage as such going on in the middle lool
but wow the end is explosive.
damn!
very very VERY well written!!

That was actually pretty good. I liked it. I didn't like the "I woke up" part though. If you would've left it at, "I pulled the trigger" it would've been much better. This sent chills down my spine until the "I woke up" part. I dunno, maybe that's just me but it's your story so you do what you want with it.

-Kelli

You have a good sense of description and sentences flowed well. You built up the climax perfectly... though the ending was indeed a twist that I wasn't expecting: maybe try and expand on the pnchline... well not really the punchline... but you know what I mean. The suprise, the turn, the bit that changes what came before. Like Max Radio said. But I like this one. I really do. Hm... I might just be checking your profile for more fics... :D Gold star (don't ask... I just like giving out gold stars to fics that are worth their weight)

Found this while looking for something different.

Wow, really cool! And...sort of erotic, in a weird, surprising way. It inspired me, even.

I think I'm having trouble critiquing this because it's so short and easy to swallow; the 'I' of the story didn't even die in the end, and instead you saved the anonymous person and the story from becoming a typical suicide plot. The ending of the story a lot lighter than the reader was expecting (though it was a pretty typical usage of surprise...the whole 'dream' thing), which is a nice breakaway from the usual LIVE to DIE plot most suicide snippets have.

I'll end up running in circles here; what I'm getting to is, great short, find more original endings and they'll really shine.

8/10

Wow. This was amazing! :D The words you use are just... they're like candy. Or heroin.

Makes me want more. :3