i love the concept...light's final impression on the world... you write very much like i think, cool.

"Are finishing a cosmic journey as shadows on the floor"
--haha that sounds so important. it's nice.
i don't like (blue sky) because both words are weak. it is interesting that you would choose those to repeat. it emphasizes maybe the honesty, and of course it helps the rhythm, but it might have held more meaning if you put something different there.
the last two lines of this are what i love in poetry.
nice piece.