I love the use of parenthesis in this it really adds to it and gives certain parts different meaning than if the parenthesis weren't there. The ending was perfect and my favorite few lines. This whole piece was just so raw with emotion.

Yeah, I do like it; I like the juxtaposition between the characters. They have a catch twenty two going on. Hopefully you know what I mean.

see ya

I like this. I love how it seems to be a bunch of different ideas, that all tie together. A whole slew of images that lead to one final picture. Keep it up, great work.
Faith

Beautiful imagery and the way you played up the fast pace of the narrators mind, but still kept the tempo down was brilliant. Very nice work.

I really do like this. The ideas are wonderful.