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| chansie41 2008-08-22 ch 1,  | abuse"You will miss me when I'm gone" sounds like a curse. I love it. That line alone made me feel like the speaker's seeking vengeance for being deprived from love or care-something like that..lol at the same time, it's sad... Example: when you know when you're going to die and u don't want to leave SOMEBODY behind.. aw.. Hmm... nice idea for a tragic love story.. |
| AK the Twilight 2008-08-16 ch 1, | abuseThis was an interestingly ambiguous work on having a lasting impression. You make it sound like the speaker will never be around again, but you make a quick switch about halfway through the poem. The little change in attitude makes the poem unpredictable, in a good way, I mean. The ending is very conclusive, but also leaves many of the loose ends of the poem tied. Sorry if that sounds a bit confusing, but I do like the way the poem finishes. I did find the ghost metaphor to be a bit secondary, but the rest of the poem is very well crafted. Overall, great job. |
| The Hippie Nerd 2008-08-12 ch 1, | abuseThe shortness of this piece not only helps one review it in such a fatigued mind state, but also gives the poem more of an emotional whallop and interest. Everything is compressed, there's less room for filler. The first four lines are a great introduction, and I love the line "If only for the memories." Your description of how you will be like a ghost in his life is so wonderfully done, and brings the poem to a great conclusion. There's a shade of mystery to that last line, I don't fully understand it but it works really well. Bravo, Ms. J! |
| Twilight Starr 2007-11-01 ch 1, | abuseGreat poem. 'Ghost' is such a haunting title. ~Twilight Starr~ |