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| Cue the Starlight 2008-02-25 ch 7,  | abuseHehe...I read the first chapter and was hooked, so I had to email myself the rest of the story to read at work. Sh, don't tell. :D I love Ivy. She rocks. I would be really interested in reading her story...how she became the way she is. It would be an interesting journey. Not just with the training to be a Shadow Stalker (awesome concept, I have a whole sub-story flitting through my head now. hehe Nothing like stealing your thunder, huh?), but with how her life was at Christians before she rebelled. The images you paint jump out of the prose...I feel like I could pick Ivy out of a line up. Very 3D. Oops, did I forget to mention that I tend to ramble in my reviews? No? *shrugs* I knew I forgot something... ;D |
| PowerGiantBW 2008-02-07 ch 8, | abuseWhoa. Wasn't expecting it to end THAT way. I suppose too many of us expect a bright ending or whatnot of some kind. But hey, no one wants to hear "they live happily ever after" at the end of every story, eh? I'd also like to point out something. When it comes to dialogue, you are supposed to start a new paragraph every time a different person starts speaking. You might not think it, but it can be a little confusing bunched together like that. Anyway, its proper grammar, so I thought I'd let you know. All the same, very interesting and intriguing story. It took me for a different kind of ride. |
| jkmad 2008-01-20 ch 1, anon. | abusei loved it; great story line made me giggle abit |
| Mired White 2007-11-02 ch 1, | abuseLike your desciptions. Other senses are pulled in besides sight, that's something that is often forgotten. I could actually imagine the scene like I was watching it on the big screen, and the character's personality is intrigueing. Sentences overall flow nicely, impressions are hovering over the brink of being cliche but is saved by being simple and well executed. Looking forward to your updates –343 |
| kaleidoscope-sharks 2007-11-02 ch 1, | abuseGreat start! I like the over all idea :) |