FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Zebbie 2007-11-09 ch 1,  | abuseThis is really lovely. I like the style and the language use a lot. It feels very considered without being laboured at all. "His favorite place was the library. Sometimes it was ours too," Very subtle. Nice. Really delicate handling. Hmm. I think my only complaint would be that it is a one shot, because there are lots of unanswered questions about what happened and why? but I think the questions are part of what keeps the fine tension through the narrative and without it it wouldn't be so good, so I see why you've limited it. Completely understand your pride at writing a short story. My oneshot was the first I've managed EVER. Even when I wrote short creative stuff for school it was always more like an excerpt from something longer rather than being complete in its own right. Really enjoyed this. Zeb |