Very, very well written! This makes me want to go and paint millions of words over millions and millions of miles of canvas just to see if I can find myself in them. This is a truly great piece. Well done! I'm adding this to my favorites list.

An interesting concept, certainly. There is a solid mood throughout the poem, supported by a balance between concepts and word choice. The writing is quite good. My problem lies with the extremely uncomfortable flow. While it might seem "neat" on paper to have sentences end in the middle of a line, most cases do not work at all here. Trying to read it out loud is difficult and uncomfortable. While the rhythm does end up being quite good, it just doesn't flow well, nor does it sound particularly good. For all the stylistic aspects, I think that adjusting the poem slightly to have the flow be smoother and easier would simply take this "intriguing" poem and turn into a "really good, intriguing" poem. A simple rearrangement would be all, and I think that it would help quite a bit.

It started off so well! I wish you had continued and made it longer though. But still amazing job.

I really like the theme of writing and humanity you have here, but I think to make your statement, this poem should be a bit more to the point, you know, more clear.

love the idea of DNA being a sentance. the metaphor is well sustained throughout the poem, nicely done.