Nice. I like it a lot. I think Ocean’s my favorite character so far, though the others are really cool too. There were a couple of grammatical errors that I noticed.

“Ocean lead her threw many streets…” I think you mean ‘through’ and not ‘threw’.

‘…tickling of metal on metal…” --> ticking of metal on metal.

“they might spar a few of the children,” --> they might spare a few of the children,

“I just don’t understand that you would sacrifice yourself for a load of people who you barely know.” This seems to contradict her earlier statement that people should fight to protect one another. First she’s saying to help others, and now she’s saying that she doesn’t understand why they would want to.

“I will never forget meting her…” --> I will never forget meeting her.

I especially loved it when Sol was like, “I assume I was born, cause I exist.” And when he tells Ocean “don’t worry it’ll catch up to me in the future and I won’t be able to lift a teacup.” : D

So anyway, great story here. I’ll probably be able to read more after the holidays. Talk to you later!

Ah, the Powers. The elements tend to lend a treasure chest of ideas to us authors, don't they?. ; ) A very interesting prologue. Thrusts us right into the story, while still offering enough information to carry it along. You have, as always, interesting dialogue, distinctive characters, and a fantastic beginning. One thing caught my attention though. When you say about Hina’s mother that “she was wearing a purple and green dress”, it seems very blunt. Perhaps you could, instead, say something like “she smoothed her purple and green dress before speaking.” Though, I don’t know if you’ll be doing any editing, what with NaNoWriMo. I’m not quite sure how that works, I just know that it would be impossible for me to write a novel in a month. So, good luck! : ) I'll try to read some more later, but I am, sadly, very busy with many difficult and sundry matters. Until later, then.

Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant...
and the world thinks Tolkin has a huge imagination. has anyone met you? most brilliant author there is!!