hullo im new also i ahve to wait 2 more hrs before i can start posting and hope to have fun rping with u guys in the adventures in magic theme that my friend anarane told me about and said i should try it but anyways hate it was one of the shortest good stories ive read in awhile.

Nice. A few errors here and there. I don't really get why this is fantasy or who the poem is talking about though.

Ganbaru!

i liked this. there where a few spelling mistakes, but i could overlook those since "everyone makes mistakes". i really liked the last 5 lines.

wtf? anyway SPELLCHECK, I saw like 3-4 spelling misteaks X mistackes X mistakes Y why do you not spell-check, do u use word-pad or sumething?

I frequently hate the world, but my negativity never produces such interesting poems. You have a couple spelling mistakes, but maybe they're just typos. I love that you bring us into the mind of a "demon" and find the emotions. Very creative. Keep writing!

Dx

Your grammar and spelling could use some work. For example, it isn't "tendership". It's "tenderness". The correct spellings would be "Damn", "Ourselves", "Pours", and "Heaven".

It was an interesting thought, however, and with a bit of editing and revising it could probably be a nice piece of work.

The line "One by, stinking one." doesn't flow all that well, though. I would try re-phrasing it.