I think you wrote a very excellent piece of poetry that makes perfect sense! That excites me considering my track record with poets like Emily Dickinson... -Shudders- Anyway, the point is good job!

Personally I loved it - every word and sentence flowed and match eachother in a way :) Write more like this as I really think you have a talent for this.

By the way I've updated my story Destiny and I: A New Man so in your own time please have a look at it xD

Best wishes in what you do!

Nice use of metaphor (is it metaphor, right?... wow, I will feel stupid if I got that wrong). This one is very poetic with lots of interesting imagery. Nice job.

GrannyP

hey, that was really great! I liked it!

Terra

This was beautifully written. d:) Great job!