 KaiserInk 2008-11-30 . chapter 5This, I think, is how a good fighting story should be done. I understand you have your doubts, but so far you're doing well helping me (the reader) visualize the story. The plot and story arc so far is very well done and I like that you haven't boxed your characters into cliches early on. I'm looking forward to how they develop once the actual tournament starts.
My only concern is that if you move too fast, the story will get lost. I don't think you'll have that problem and I'm looking forward to your next update. |
 RB360 2008-09-21 . chapter 5Yep, very action packed. Very brutal too, if do say so myself. It's interesting to see how many fighting styles there exist in the world. You really do know your martial arts. Keep it up. |
 Tomoyuki Tanaka 2008-05-16 . chapter 5Oh, man. That was so cool. And I mean, really, really cool. I look forward to the next fights, but I do have one burning question in mind. How come a lot, almost half in fact, of the fighters are Japanese? |
 sleepyinsomniac 2008-05-16 . chapter 4Interesting story. I have to say that your knowledge concerning different forms of martial arts is quite impressive. You must've done some intensive research, no? I do have to point out one thing... It's spelled Filipino, not Philipino... |
 Subsequent Cross 2008-05-15 . chapter 1Oh, my gosh. Summary drew me, writing drew me--very interesting. I haven't read a truly original story on this site in a long while.
=^^=
Aurora is slightly extremely terrifying. XD She's got a bloodthirsty mind but then, don't we all? She proves that.
Such an interesting concept, using martial arts for blood sport. This chapter just shows how companies will stop at nothing for a bit of advertisement.
I DEFINITELY want to see where this is going. I hope to meet new characters.
*alert* |
 Guardian's Light 2008-05-15 . chapter 5Excellent chapter. Can't wait to read more. |
 Tomoyuki Tanaka 2008-05-02 . chapter 4Yay! You're back! After reading the first chapter i thought I prefered the earlier version of Guilty Act, but after the Struggles arc, I'm not so sure any more. Still, it was fun to read Guilty Act with all the supernatural abilities. Even if it's a martial art story, the action has to be inevitably exaggerated. Using elemental powers added to the mysticism of the story. But it seems like there's more action and characterization than before, and my favorite character, Alex Garret seems to be more bad ** than before. Way to go, Alex! A few months ago, your story disappeared from my review history and I feared the worst - that you stopped altogether. Lucky I checked your account page after my overseas military training trip and found out you merely rewrote your story. Looking forward to the next chapter! |
 Spirit Tigress 2008-04-07 . chapter 4Crap that match was fast! My bet's on Alex!
~Spirit Tigress |
 Spirit Tigress 2008-04-07 . chapter 3Another awesome chapter!
Replace 'Onee-chan' and 'nee-chan' with 'Onii' and 'nii'.
The former means older sister and the latter means older brother.
~Spirit Tigress |
 Spirit Tigress 2008-04-07 . chapter 2Awesome!
That's really all I can say right now!
~Spirit Tigress |
 Spirit Tigress 2008-04-03 . chapter 1"Aurora licked her lips at his answer. “Wrong, Crocket. A blood sport is what this company will be doing for now on as its annual project.”" ~whoa...she makes me look sweet!
I'll try to get to get to this again somethime this weekend.
I didn't know there was an Ultimate Fighting Championship. (That was a name I had for one of the tournaments in a story I'm planning.)
~Spirit Tigress |
 SympleSymon 2008-02-27 . chapter 1Hey, sorry for the long delay in this return review for 'Battle Maverick'.
So far, yeah, I can see where people are drawing the DBZ-slash-Battle-Royale comparisons, and that isn't altogether a bad thing.
The set-up itself sounds promising, and I can just tell from the way that you're writing this now that the upcoming action is to be superb.
A few things, though, but only for the Terms section; maybe you shouldn't bill the Foundation as a 'fictional' company? As, to met at least, it detracts from the story so much as to shatter the suspension of disbelief. We know it's not real, but telling us so is something different; people will react to something better if the author writes as if it's real all the time, not just during the prose. Also, it doesn't really help to have 'this is a fictional company' quickly followed by 'it was founded and developed by Maximus...' as that's almost a contradiction - if it's fictional, then you created it...see what I'm trying to say? Long thing short, maybe you should drop the fictional note.
Otherwise, as great a start to a story as I have ever seen.
~SS |
 Bleu Ciel 2008-02-26 . chapter 1I'd have to say, it's like a Dragonball Tournament aka Battle Royale... except maybe not as sick LOL
The opening seemed a little cliche, but I'm guessing this is just the tip of the iceberg. You should also add "Actus Reus" to your terminology list.
Sorry I only have time to review a chapter. I'm actually reviewing this at my work LOL I'll try to make for the next chapters next time (or tomorrow's work XD) |
 Soosie 2008-02-25 . chapter 4that's really good! i really like it :D |
 scarletlady77 2008-02-22 . chapter 2This is a very interesting story. If you were going for descriptive, I'd say you nailed it. Excellent use of vocabulary. Though a few things (the G-string etc.) I think might best be left to imagination. That made me cringe, and stayed with me the rest of the chapter. Maybe I'm just too young to read it. So- is Aurora intended to be an anti-hero or a direct villain?
Excellent writing- I plan to return and read more. |