FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Thenardier 2008-03-11 ch 1,  | abuseAbsolutely stunning. You've captured her so succinctly. The last two line brought this to a wonderful closure. |
| simpleplan13 2008-03-08 ch 1, | abuseI really love the first line "within balance" that was great.. although in that stanza m not sure why there's no space between emptied and by Nice word choice with "mystic wedlock" and "tempest reincarnation" I love the idea of the modern queen and the way you describe her that was really great I hafta say Im not big fan of the sometimes there... I dunno it just struck me as odd, but that might be me... I do really like the image of the dress sticking to her though Beautiful description of her eyes and hair and smile.. it's beautiful... also the parenthesis of (n) (almost) the ending is a really powerful as well.. though I might put the part in italics on a separate line... Anyhow it's a really beautiful piece adn I love the whole comparison to Helena... PS If your bored check out the Review Game and its Review Marathon (links in my profile) |
| rust phoenix 2007-11-12 ch 1, | abuseThis is very cool. Again, very original poem. It's like a character sketch. It seems like it has steampunk/cyberpunk elements to it - a mix of old and modern. |
| xDancingintheRainx 2007-11-07 ch 1, | abuseYou've done it again! Another amazing piece. The word choice is perfectly fitting for a poem like this. The imagery is beautiful. Well done! |
| tearing hands 2007-11-06 ch 1, | abuseMy favorite parts were "Fancy dress sticking to her, / with hot sweat and rain." and "She says to me her twisted days-" (I don't know why I like that line, I just really do) and the ending, which is so perfect and fitting and the reason why I'm adding this to my favorites. Is she dead? Because it seems to me like she's dead. Maybe I'm really slow, or maybe I'm just bad at trying to interpret things, but I think she's dead. |
| Kusje 2007-11-04 ch 1, | abuseThis is a very... victorian style poem, for me. I love how you painted her atributes and how you specific you used your descriptions. My favorite line: 'There is a fresco she sits on that is Painted by colored water and emptiedby sunlight' Gorgeous :) |
| Leonora Strong 2007-11-04 ch 1, | abuseThat's...awesome. I can't totally explain it in words... The lines really reached out, as if they were a reality, as if they were a 3D come to life. These last lines were simply beautiful, awakening to the world. "Helena, (my lady) She's still there in the fresco (now in ruins)" |
| wordsworth in a garbage can 2007-11-03 ch 1, | abusebeautiful. simply beautiful. |